Businessman: I painted her bedroom. She picked this ugly red color.
Businesslady: You know, you could hire someone for like $100 to do
that.
Businessman: It’s one little bedroom. It’s not like I’m handicapped.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Businessman: I painted her bedroom. She picked this ugly red color.
Businesslady: You know, you could hire someone for like $100 to do
that.
Businessman: It’s one little bedroom. It’s not like I’m handicapped.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Woman: I haven’t talked to Henry* in a week. I’m through with him.
Man: Why? What happened?
Woman: He’s sooo selfish. He took the last t-shirt out of my drawer and wore it.
Man: That’s it? Dumped him over a t-shirt?
Woman: I texted him and told him we’re through.
Man: Wow. Dumped over a Hanes.
Woman: Yep. Infidelity I forgave, but don’t take my last goddamned t-shirt out of my fuckin’ drawer. Selfish!
45 South Illinois Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Security Guard: So I told her, “I’m ’bout to go over there & milk that goat. The baby’s gotta have sum’inta eat.”
9800 Kellner Road SW
Huntsville, Alabama
Designer: I can’t find a photo to represent personal trainers. The only stock images we have are too creepy. Look kind of like an after-school special.
Writer: Like a molesting-kids after-school special? Or the kind about bulimia?
Designer: A cross between those and the ones about steroids.
Creative director: Oh. That sounds OK. Use whatever you guys have.
16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Coworker: Sue* and Becca* complained they were cold in the office.
Boss: Well, that doesn't make sense. They aren't even skinny.
Greenwood Village, Colorado
Co-worker #1: Now I feel bad about us putting those moving boxes in his cube the other day.
Co-worker #2: Why? he thought it was funny at the time.
2401 Utah Ave South
Seattle, Washington
Girl #1: I use the pull and pray method.
Girl #2: Girl, pull and pray…they never do it. It doesn’t work.
Girl #1: Yes it does! It just doesn’t work ninety percent of the time.
45 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: not dating either of them
Co-worker #1: Ew!
Co-worker #2: What?
Co-worker #1: His internet history has porn on it!
Co-worker #2: Really?
Co-worker #1: Yeah!
Co-worker #2: Like what?
Co-worker #1: A whole bunch of free stuff from [Fleshbot].com. I can’t believe this.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, I know…
Co-worker #1: I mean…I don’t care if he does this at home, but not at this computer…We work in here!
Co-worker #2: Yeah…Sure…What was that site again?
41 West Clinton Avenue
Tenafly, New Jersey
Boss: You told me that before.
Office worker: How do you know?
Boss: I have a photogenic memory.
2 Walters Lane
Point Pleasant, Pennsylvania
Co-worker: If he was any more by the book, he’d have a cover on him.
3160 Charlestown Road
Martinsburg, West Virginia
