General Idiocy

Manager: Hey there! How are you feeling about your second day?
Intern: Whelmed.
Manager: I’m sorry, what was that?
Intern: Whelmed. You know, you can be “overwhelmed” and “underwhelmed,” but I’m just “whelmed.”
Manager: I see. Well, maybe some coffee would help?

1400 16th Street NW
Washington, DC

Co-worker: I want my job to be the guy who kicks George Bush in the face all day, only stopping to make out with him.

50 Main Street
Hackensack, New Jersey

Employee to another: And that's the first time I played Pac-Man!

Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: Doug

Guy #1: I was talking to Megan the other day. She is pretty cool.
Guy #2: Yeah, she is, but man, she is really bulimic.
Guy #3: Bulimic? What does that mean? Does that mean she’s deaf?

YMCA
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: T

Recently promoted office worker to supply clerk, as the latter leaves a presentation: No wonder you didn't pass high school

Rochelle Park, New Jersey

Overheard by: Blondie

Co-worker #1: [Aaron], you just don’t get it.
Co-worker #2: I’ve got two hemispheres working here, [Mike].

910 Lousiana Street
Houston, Texas

Coworker #1: I need to learn how to spell “plain”
Coworker #2: You mean like the kind that crashes into towers, or like yogurt?

Vancouver Island
Canadia

Salesperson: When do you need these parts? ASAP or as soon as possible?

630-2 Broadway Avenue
Holbrook, New York

Rep 1: The salon across the way, their back door is wide open, but they’ve been closed for hours. What should we do?
Rep 2: Call the police. The non-emergency number, I’d say.
Rep 1: Okay… er, what’s the non-emergency number for 911?

Scatterfield Road
Anderson, Indiana

Overheard by: Oh, the pain…

Girl nerd: I'd like to buy two cookies and two drinks, please.
Cashier: Okay, that'll be $1.18.
Girl rocker: For two cookies and two drinks? That's not right. That's got to be for one cookie or something.
Cashier: Yes. Wait, you want two cookies and two drinks?
Girl nerd: I'm paying for two cookies and two drinks.
Cashier: Okay, hmm… (thinks for a few seconds, then pushes buttons on the register) Umm…
Girl rocker: She wants two cookies and two drinks.
Cashier: Okay, that'll be $4.45.
Girl nerd: That makes more sense. I was wondering why it was so low.
Cashier, handing them two drinks and one cookie: There you go. Sorry for the confusion! Have a good day.
Girl rocker: We wanted two cookies.
Cashier: Two cookies? I thought you said two drinks.
Girls in unison: We said two cookies and two drinks.
Girl nerd: Did you charge me for two cookies?
Cashier: No, but you can just have the second one. Don't worry. No charge.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana