Boss: We have to move out of the conference room because the student is deaf and the piano lesson in the room above is so loud.
Underling: Wait… If the student is deaf why does it matter that the piano is loud?
Boss: I can't deal with this right now.
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: i choose to not hear you
Chairman of meeting: So we now have the new theme for next year's Christmas concert. It's going to be called “night of glory.”
Student representative, under her breath: Walk of shame.
Decorah, Iowa
Overheard by: Not allowed to vote in meetings
Middle-aged female boss: So I huffed a giant diaper this morning. Am I hip?
Lexington, Massachusetts
CSR waving papers around: How do you get the thingy to do the stuff?
323 E Grand River
Howell Michigan
Overheard by: Pam Beasley
Co-worker #1: [Sarah], got a minute?
Co-worker #2: No.
Co-worker #1: Neither do I.
12320 Horseshoe Way
Richmond, British Columbia
Canadia
Shop assistant: Have you got the measurements?
Old woman: My husband put them somewhere safe.
Shop assistant: He can't find them?
Old woman: He died.
(awkward silence)
Shop assistant: I'm sorry.
Old woman: He always was inconsiderate.
Fabric Shop
England
Doctor: Okay, so what are you having done today? Varicose veins?
Woman waiting for surgery: What? No. I'm having a port put in.
Nurse: A port? Well, you don't need a port for varicose veins.
Woman waiting for surgery: I know it's for my chemo.
Nurse: Oh, I get it now. I thought your form said “Cheerios.”
Australia
Manager on phone: Yes sir, I'm aware that the auto-message is in two different voices. No sir, I did not think that people would be confused…I'm sorry you feel that way, sir.
Barnes & Noble
Greenfield, Wisconsin
Overheard by: darkhorse
Office worker #1: It’s four o’clock! [Later] It’s four-thirty!
Office worker #2: Thanks, Big Ben.
Office worker #1: [Blank stare.]Office worker #2: You know what Big Ben is, right?
Office worker #1: Oh, yeah, that old TV show [raises arms and growls like a bear].
Highway 85
Madisonville, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
Ghetto girl #1: Yeah, and that’s why I changed my name.
Ghetto girl #2: For real? What was it before?
Ghetto girl #1: I changed it from Te-mika to Ta-mika. Sounds more professional.
Ghetto girl #2: Oooh girl, you know you right.
1300 19th Street
Washington, DC
Overheard by: KilThor
