General Idiocy

Store clerk to weird customer: Sir, we don't carry that, that only exists on television.

Long Island

Office drone #1: Have you ever been to Chinatown for dim sum?
Office drone #2: Is that a drug?

Chicago, Illinois

Female phone-monkey: Oh my god! There are animals there? I've never been to the zoo!

Call Centre
Kitchener
Canadia

Overheard by: Kryssy

Front office girl at medical spa, hanging up phone: The client says we are not taking her concerns seriously, and she is going to report us to the Surgeon General.
Ditzy manager: The Surgeon General? But we don't have anything to do with smoking!
Front office girl, under her breath: I can't believe I have to report to you.

Charlotte, North Carolina

Overheard by: OMG The IQ level here is amazing

Coworker #1: Anyone want to go out to lunch with me? I'm so hungry.
Coworker #2: I can't, I brought Indian for lunch today.
Coworker #1: Man, I am so hungry I would eat an Indian right now.
Coworker #2: Do you think they taste like curry?
Coworker #1: What?
Coworker #2: Curry. You know, because they eat so much of it. Wouldn't it be ironic if they tasted like cow? Ganesh would not like that.
Coworker #1: I'm going to go get pizza.

Seattle, Washington

Man, referring to golf pencils provided: Can I borrow something to write with? I can't use those small pencils. I'm a VIP!

Virginia Beach, Virginia

Office pariah to 20-something wearing sweatshirt from recent vacation: Oh, Ireland… Is that some kind of college or something?

Texas

Overheard by: And then I died a little inside

Staffer working on Patriot Act: Power is always abused; we were putting the Japanese in intermittent camps in the thirties during World War I.

Dirksen Senate Office Building
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Intern

Boss: Find anything interesting?
Employee: Yeah. Mexicans are bad tippers…Sorry, that was racist. Spanish people are bad tippers.

1100 Vermont Avenue NW
Washington, DC

Overheard by: adrone

Co-worker: Ugh…
Manager: What’s the matter?
Co-worker: Nothing, I just couldn’t see the screen.
Manager: Oh. Was everything flesh colored and blurry? That’s from putting your hand in front of your face.

1390 Timberlake Manor Parkway
St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: Durp