Boss: Find anything interesting?
Employee: Yeah. Mexicans are bad tippers…Sorry, that was racist. Spanish people are bad tippers.
1100 Vermont Avenue NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: adrone
Boss: Find anything interesting?
Employee: Yeah. Mexicans are bad tippers…Sorry, that was racist. Spanish people are bad tippers.
1100 Vermont Avenue NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: adrone
Co-worker: Ugh…
Manager: What’s the matter?
Co-worker: Nothing, I just couldn’t see the screen.
Manager: Oh. Was everything flesh colored and blurry? That’s from putting your hand in front of your face.
1390 Timberlake Manor Parkway
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Durp
Boss: Oh good morning, would you like some coffee?
Building Manager: Oh, I don’t think so.
Boss: Oh, have some.
Building Manager: No, thanks. It’ll just make me perspire. I had a cup and a half before I left for work this morning and my makeup slid right off my face.
3040 M Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Chris
Co-Worker on phone: I do not want to poop in my pants!…I’m way too fucking classy for that.
1500 Broadway
New York, New York
Interviewer: What would you say your strengths are?
Buff interviewee: Arms and back.
Dresden Nuclear Power Plant
Morris, Illinois
Overheard by: Harbor
Clerk guy: Yeah, so we ordered a pizza last night, and the guy on the phone knew my address, get this, before I even told him!
Clerk girl: Don’t they have caller ID or something?
Clerk guy: Man, I don’t know. I was smoking a big one, and I was like, “Dude, whoa. I think the government is all watching me now.”
Clerk girl: Um, probably not.
Clerk guy: Then explain to me how they knew my address and what kind of pizza I ordered last time! Explain that!
Kmart
Temple, Texas
Overheard by: Vicky
Manager on phone: I'm faxing you a copy of this color chart.
Sydney
Australia
Blonde: I was thinking, this is totally the time to invent something new and make a ton of money…my problem is that I can’t think of anything new.
2424 Burton Street
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Voice over PA system: Would everyone on the 12th floor please gather by the copy machine for an instructional tutorial on how to operate it?
Engineer #1: Is she serious?
Engineer #2: Yeah… There's a lot of architects in this office.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: tbomb
University phone solicitor: So, did you hear that the College of Letters, Arts, and Sciences has a new dean?!
Guy being solicited: I don’t really care.
University phone solicitor: Me neither.
Jefferson and McClintock Avenue
Los Angeles, California
