Data architect manager: And the new tables — who’s taking care of that?
DBA: Danny Phu*.
Data architect manager, making a note: Danny… F-U?
DBA: Excuse me?
1555 Lundy Parkway
Dearborn, Michigan
Data architect manager: And the new tables — who’s taking care of that?
DBA: Danny Phu*.
Data architect manager, making a note: Danny… F-U?
DBA: Excuse me?
1555 Lundy Parkway
Dearborn, Michigan
Guy over PA system: May I have your attention please. There has been a fire reported in the building.
Co-Worker: Well, that’s just an excuse to go smoke.
East 13th Street
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: blocking the exit
Coworker #1: Man, this is discolored.
Coworker #2: Yeah, you probably licked it.
Coworker #1: I hate that. Licking always discolors things.
Austin, Texas
Collegiate on cell: Hey, Mom, you’ll be proud of me — I actually bought books at Borders — to read!
Barnes & Noble, Center City
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: book stacker
Soccer mom: Can I have a medium iced latte? (pause) Wait, how much is a large?
Employee: $2.99.
Soccer mom: And how much is the medium?
Employee: $2.69.
Soccer mom: So which is the better value?
Employee: Huh?
Soccer mom: How many ounces are in the large? How many are in the medium? What's the cost per ounce of each?
Next customer in line: Here's thirty cents, just give her a large.
Soccer mom: I'm not sure if I want a large.
Rest of very long line: Argh!
Dunkin Donuts
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Heavy D
Coworker #1: Oh, can’t find the paper clips.
Coworker #2: Can’t find ’em?
Coworker #1: Nope, just like yesterday…where do they all go?
Coworker #2: I don’t know.
Coworker #1: I don’t know either.
Pause
Coworker #2: Do you want some of mine?
Coworker #1: Sure.
Coworker #2: How many would you like?
Coworker #1: Hmmm…well, I just need one for now, but I might need some more later…
Coworker #2: Ha, ha, ha, if you were on Survivor, your treasure would be paper clips.
Coworker #1: Ha, ha, ha, that’s right — dontcha know…
Coworker #2: Ha, ha, ha.
Coworker #1: Ha, ha, ha.
Coworker #2: Girl, please.
261 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Elizabeth
Peon: I think she’s Indian.
Boss: American Indian? We don’t have a lot of those!
Peon: No, Asian Indian.
Boss: They have Indians in Asia?!
5th and Market Streets
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Old man: Excuse me.
CD store employee: Yes.
Old man: Where do you keep your Negro music?
CD store employee: What?
Old man: Your Negro music!
Grandson: He means rap music.
CD store employee: Oh, over there.
1st Avenue North
Seattle, Washington
Receptionist: I was just going to put this in the mail for you today but since you’re here I’ll just give it to you.
Customer: Do you want me to mail it?
Rayen Avenue
Youngstown, Ohio
Co-worker #1: You know that copier sorts on its own…
Co-worker #2: I know, I just like to press buttons.
2990 Mack Road
Fairfield, Ohio
Overheard by: Kimmie
