Office dweller on phone: You get Snoop. We get Jon Bon Jovi.
Austin, Texas
Office dweller on phone: You get Snoop. We get Jon Bon Jovi.
Austin, Texas
Coworker, after conversation with boss: A fetus could come up with better ideas.
Melville, New York
President #1, on teleconference: So that about wraps up what we discussed during the presidents' retreat. Did you have anything you wanted to add?
President #2 (after pause): Oh, I actually had you muted.
President #1: Okay, did you hear everything I said or do you need me to repeat anything?
President #2: Oh. Umm…no, I was going to the bathroom.
Baltimore, Maryland
Paralegal #1: It’s funny when I enter a label for what type of event the attorney is doing, one of them says “Meditation”. Who would meditate in the conference room?
Paralegal #2: Are you sure it doesn’t say “Mediation”?
Paralegal #1: Oh yeah, I guess that would make more sense in a law firm, huh?
7700 Old Georgetown Road
Bethesda, Maryland
Patient: Yeah, I have a twin brother about my age.
Presbyterian Hospital
New York, New York
Overheard by: Speechless RN
Worker #1: Does anyone know who owns the black Civic out front?
Worker #2: Why's it gotta be a black Civic? Why can't it just be a civic?
Redmond, Washington
Girl #1: There is so much secondhand smoke here that it’s going to kill us eventually.
Girl #2: That’s for sure!
Girl #1: It’s okay, though. I have life insurance.
Local bar
Burlington, North Carolina
Overheard by: Bartender Snickering Nearby
Employee #1: You sure talk a lot.
Employee #2: Well, I have a lot of things going through my head, and I think everyone should hear them.
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Older woman: Yes, I have fifteen years of commission-only sales experience, and I’m accustomed to traveling four days out of the week.
Interviewer: Oh, um, well that’s great. Um, yes, some of our new hires don’t like traveling because it’s so lonely and can be far from home and, um, you know, like solitudish and lonely.
Older woman: That’s okay with me. Travel is fine, but I can’t travel for three weeks out and one week home. I have two cats. I can leave them for four days at a time but not three weeks.
Interviewer: Oh. Well, that’s unfortunate ’cause we really would like you for the job. Well, um, if something would happen that would mean you could take this job, um, like I won’t get into what that would be or anything morbid or sad or anything…but you could always re-apply.
6500 Matalin Place
Louisville, Kentucky
Office peon: How the hell do you not know what Knight Rider is? I can't stand chicks like that. They're only good for one thing, and even that isn't that good.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: I know what Knight Rider is
