20-something female coworker, about guy he's met online: He's so smart. He uses real sentences, with real words, with real punctuation!
Grandview Heights, Ohio
Overheard by: Rich Hamburglar
20-something female coworker, about guy he's met online: He's so smart. He uses real sentences, with real words, with real punctuation!
Grandview Heights, Ohio
Overheard by: Rich Hamburglar
Female executive VP on phone son: I'm not giving you money today. I'm not giving it to you. I'm not giving it to you. I'm not giving it to you. (pause) Michael, did you hear what I just said? I'm not giving you any money today. I'm. Not. Giving. You. Any. Money. Today. (pause) I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I said I'm sorry. (pause) Yes, I'm serious. I gave you $50 yesterday and I said it had to last you until Friday. You're 21. You're 21. Get a job. (pause) I'm not giving you money today. Okay, bye. (pause) I love you too.
Montclair, New Jersey
Boss, talking about client: It’s a love-hate relationship. They either love or hate us. We just hate them.
Herndon, Virginia
Clueless HR rep: These are all in order, I'm a little anal when it comes to sorting…
Perky HR rep: Thanks. (pause) Yay! I love anal!
Overland Park, Kansas
Supervisor: He hasn't been coming to work because he is an alcoholic.
Coworker: I know what that feels like. Last week I was drinking for a while in my yard and I totally pissed my pants. I had to wash them.
San Diego, California
Office drone: I feel like an ape… my thumbs don't oppose anymore.
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: usual suspect
Boss: Okay, so, there have been some changes in the past 24 hours. First of all, [Sharon] has left us for another job.
Team: Ding dong the witch is dead, the wicked old witch is dead!
955 Rumble Road
Smarr, Georgia
Co-worker #1: I do things my way because that’s what works best for me.
Co-worker #2: Huh?
1 Embarcadero Center
San Francisco, California
Office lady #1: And I was like “Hmmmmmmmm… Ya, not sure how Karen* feels about the whole not-being-friends thing. No offense, but we don't ever talk about you.”
Office lady #2: She missed me putting up with her shit?
Office lady #1: And I don't talk to her about you.
Office lady #2: Do it! I don't care! You can tell her that I think she is so full of shit she should be an overflowing outhouse.
Office lady #1, laughing: You know me, I would never do that!
Office lady #2: The only difference between her and the overflowing outhouse is that I'd shit on her.
Calgary
Canadia
