HR person, filling out paperwork for new employee: I need to know the name of the bank to direct deposit your check to.
New employee, dumbfounded: Um, shoot, I can’t remember it. Oh, it’s the one connected to the liquor store!
Hanson Avenue
Albert Lea, Minnesota
Office worker #1: It’s four o’clock! [Later] It’s four-thirty!
Office worker #2: Thanks, Big Ben.
Office worker #1: [Blank stare.]Office worker #2: You know what Big Ben is, right?
Office worker #1: Oh, yeah, that old TV show [raises arms and growls like a bear].
Highway 85
Madisonville, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
Customer: You did a wonderful job on your Christmas tree!
Boss: Actually, my staff did all the work.
Staff #1: No, you set the tree up.
Boss: Yes, but you added some ornaments.
Staff #1: Only a few, but I fluffed up the branches so I guess I’m the office fluffer.
Cleveland, Ohio
Suit #1: We have to make sure they get laid in our system.
Suit #2 (concentrating): Right…
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: …and what exactly would that system be, now?
Employee, to boss : These internet blocks suck. I just got kicked off for trying to google whether or not Jamie Lee Curtis is a hermaphrodite!
Boss : Well, try to remember to look it up when you get home.
Providence, Rhode Island
Production assistant: Nothing from Mexico is worth more than five bucks!
Valley Village, California
Overheard by: KTP
Receptionist to trainee: Oh, you asked about the dead rabbit in my car. It’s for Yolanda, her dad wanted it.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Blond law clerk: If you turn off your computer, will you still be able to access your email while you are out of the office.
Blond lawyer: I think so, I don’t see why not.
Blond law clerk: Yeah, I think it just goes straight to your blackberry.
Blond lawyer: When you come in tomorrow, turn the computer on and check to see if the emails are there or if they went to my blackberry.
69 Bloor Street East, Toronto
Overheard by: Stacey O
Guy at conference table: Kimchi gives you stomach cancer.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Worrying about the Korean Peninsula
Coworker #1: Why aren't the signs vertical?
Coworker #2: Umm… because they're not. That's how we make the signs.
Coworker #1: Why not? There are lots of Japanese people in that town. They would appreciated vertical signs!
Coworker #2: Um… There are absolutely no Japanese people in that town. You should know, you used to live there!
Coworker #1: Oh yeah, that's right. I drove them all out of town.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
