Cubicle rat to another: So you buried your grandmother? So are you, like, sad?
Boston, Massachusetts
Cubicle rat to another: So you buried your grandmother? So are you, like, sad?
Boston, Massachusetts
Long Island secretary #1: She's old.
Long Island secretary #2: Some people just live too long.
Long Island secretary #1: She'll die soon.
Long Island secretary #2: She'll die when I kill her.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: stayingonmysideoftheoffice
Customer: I don't know if I should get the two years subscription, I might not live that long.
Employee: How old are you?
Customer: 68.
Employee: Well, Tom*, that's a crapshoot.
Harrisburg, North Carolina
Male coworker: I'm not afraid to fall to my death. I'm really not.
Plainsboro, New Jersey
Random editor: Hey, busy day?
Obituary editor: No, not so busy.
Random editor: Well, that's good, right? People aren't dying?
Obituary editor: Makes for a very boring afternoon.
Post Office Road
Waldorf, Maryland
Diner: Well, you know, when she was young she just liked to sleep with dead animals under her pillow.
Denver, Colorado
Girl #1: I should be a professional killer
Girl #2: What are you talking about?
Girl #1: Well, I was really good in riflery in camp. I hate people. And I love wearing black.
40 West 57th Street
New York, New York
Cheeky sales guy: What about adding fluoride to water..?
Sales lady: Don't do it!
Cheeky sales guy: The Nazis used it.
Sales lady: Stop egging him on!
Sales guy #2: Yeah, the first place it was used was the concentration camps. Adolf Hitler found that it mellowed them out.
Cubicle neighbor: And their teeth looked awesome?
Sales guy #2: No, it has nothing to do with teeth! It's the second most poisonous element. It's used in all kinds of rat poisons.
Marion, Iowa
Brother: Is he dead?
Brother’s friend’s brother: I think he’s asleep.
Brother: Hey, you awake?
Brother’s friend’s brother: Hey! Say something.
Brother’s friend: Make me.
Mishawaka, Indiana
Overheard by:
