50-something woman on Stairmaster, to personal trainer: I've got the heart of a whore, and I want the body of a virgin.
Oakland, California
50-something woman on Stairmaster, to personal trainer: I've got the heart of a whore, and I want the body of a virgin.
Oakland, California
Saleswoman: Oh, you're also from Iran?
Woman: Yes.
Saleswoman: So do you all speak Islamic?
Miami, Florida
Parts store clerk #1 to parts store clerk #2: I don't know about taking this test. These words they use, I don't know where they get these words from. Maybe it's just me, cause I'm from the South.
Customer, chuckling: Them can't be real words, can they?
Parts clerk #1: No.
Parts clerk #2: You're just way too country to take that test.
Decatur, Tennessee
Woman yelling to husband over cell phone, with look of horror in her eyes: *Bob? Bob?!? Bob, are you crying? Are you crying, bob?!? Yes, I need stamps. 100 of them.
University Place
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Studs
Angry suit on cell: Get me the money or I take your ass to court. I’ll take your ass to court.
Barista: Ummm… sir? Can I get you something to drink?
Angry suit on cell: Yes, I’d like a triple mocha. [To cell.] I mean it. I’ll sue your ass, you greedy, lying Italian bastard.
Barista: Sir, would you like whipped cream on your mocha?
Angry suit on cell: Like hell you’ll get me the money by June. You were supposed to give it to me back in September. [To barista.] Extra whipped cream, thanks.
W Washington St
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Customer, looking at a damaged mobile home: How did that happen?
Mechanic: The guy put it on cruise control and went into the back to make a sandwich.
Repair Center
England
Overheard by: Rob
Agent: Can you tell me what color the small square or circular sticker is on the back of your phone?
Customer: I had cervical surgery this week. My neck hurts.
Vermillion, South Dakota
Overheard by: Haley
Pool Owner: Yes, I would like you to close my pool for the winter.
Clerk: Okay, great. Where is the pool located.
Pool Owner: In our backyard.
Clerk: Yes Ma’am I appreciate that since we have never found a permit approved for a front yard pool. Now what is the address of your pool?
Pool Owner: Was that a stupid answer?
Henninger Court
Chantilly, Virginia
Overheard by: SKippyMom
Lawyer to client: I'll have to file a motion to do that.
Client: Can't you just call and do that?
Lawyer: No, I'll have to file a motion, like on paper.
Client: Yeah, can't you just do it by phone?
Lima, Ohio
Overheard by: Holy Shit I went to College for this
Female customer to male clerk wearing “Smith College” shirt: Did you go to Smith College?
Male clerk, in completely deadpan tone: Yes, I've got a vagina and I went to Smith College.
Fairfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: Fred
