Copywriter: How about ‘Widget* is your final solution for packaging needs’?
Copyeditor: I think we should use any other description.
Copywriter: Why? Does it not make sense?
Copyeditor: Only if you’re not talking about the Holocaust.
4th and Congress
Austin, Texas
Co-Worker #1: …and who ordered the salad?
Co-Worker #2: Marie*, but she left for the day.
Co-Worker #1: Is she okay?
Co-Worker #2: I hope so. She was crying when she left. I guess the police called and said her 7-year-old daughter was a town over from where she was supposed to be, and no one knows where the sitter went.
Co-Worker #1: Oh, that’s awful. [long pause] So you think that means I can eat her salad?
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Kate
Boss: When you have kids, are you gonna take them to court?
Employee: What?
Boss: I mean, church?
Los Angeles, California
Executive director: Yeah, I liked that candidate.
Director: Yeah, me too.
Executive director: But she seems to me like she could be a potential serial killer, you know? It was just something about her eyes.
Madison Ave
New York City, New York
Manager: Would you like to buy a Lab?
Subordinate: Like, a meth lab?
Manager: Umm, no. Like, a dog.
Little Rock, Arkansas
Officer #1, laughing about peeping tom suspect: I just heard that guy say that he only did it cause it was Saturday.
Officer #2: He needs to quit jacking off outside people's windows. Somebody needs to tell him he's a nasty little pervert. Did he seriously say that?
Officer #1: I swear that's what it sounded like. And even if he didn't, that's still what I'm going to tell everybody he said.
Police Department
South Louisiana
Overheard by: that's how riots get started
Man: Was this in DC?
Woman: No! It was in Maryland, where I live! Right behind my condo building! I was so upset!
Man: Huh.
Woman: If I had a gun, I tell you what: I would have shot him as he was running away. I was so upset. The little bitch would have been dead. [She exits the elevator] Have a blessed day!
5600 Fishers Lane
Rockville, Maryland
Female coworker: How old do you think she is? Like 15 or 16?
Male coworker: Because I have no desire to make an appearance on the Megan's Law database, I respectfully decline to answer your question.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: JD
Coworker #1, reading news headlines: Mother of 550-pound teenager has been charged with neglect.
Coworker #2: That's ridiculous, obviously the kid is well fed.
The Woodlands, Texas
Overheard by: Jeremy
Attorney on cell: Okay, okay, you ran into her… Not with the car? Okay, okay…
Albuquerque, New Mexico
