Manager on phone: So I’m going to ask you a question, and you’re going to hate me for not knowing the answer. [pause] That was below the belt. [pause] It’s child protection. [pause] Annnyways, I was wondering…
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Co-worker #1: I’m waiting for your response.
Co-worker #2: I just said something!
Co-worker #1: Oh, I can’t tell when you’re talking to me or to yourself.
330 Madison Ave
New York, NY
Overheard by: LRC
Coworker: Those people in the Tsunami, they deserved to die. They were being greedy, collecting fish from the sea…they should have known there are three phases of a Tsunami.
60 Livingston Avenue
St. Paul, Minnesota
Crazy office lady in middle of rant: Did you laugh during Watergate?
20-something intern: Dude, I was a sperm during Watergate.
Washington, DC
20-something Italian male, loudly: Why do you think I never wear shorts?
Groton, Connecticut
Frustrated old man, walking away from service call button at Home Depot: Might as well hang an asshole up there and press that!
San Diego, California
Crazy coworker: If my kid pooped in the closet, I'd rub his nose in it. “No! Bad!”
Sane female coworker: Your kids are going to be taken away by the state.
Sane male coworker: There's not even a question.
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: Playtah
Lady #1 in supply room: I gotta touch it, I just got touch it!
Lady #2 in supply room: I really need to touch it!
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Crazy lady: Help! My food has shit all over it! Help!
Young waitress: Wait, what?
Crazy lady: Don't “what” me.
Young waitress: No, really, what's wrong with it? Is it the wrong dish?
Crazy lady: You didn't tell me it had shit in it.
Young waitress: To what are you referring, precisely?
Crazy lady: The shit the shit the shit! (waves hands madly over dish, gesturing at her pasta, covered in a sauce)
Young waitress: Wait, do you mean the sauce?
Crazy lady: Don't “sauce” me!
Northville, Michigan
Crazy female VP: So, who are you voting for in the election?
Unassuming employee: Obama.
Crazy female VP: Oh, really? I'm voting McCain.
Unassuming employee: Uh huh.
Crazy female VP: But, you know…I don't even see Obama as a black man.
Rockefeller Plaza
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Blonde Leading The Blind
