Crazies

Male coworker: But Anne Heche is oddly hot, and she’d be okay with another woman in the bedroom. Plus, she’s insane, which makes her fun.
Female coworker: Well, guess if you’re fantasizing about someone bi and crazy she could be interesting…
Male coworker: See? See? I think she might actually be an alien. That’d be even better! Aliens are sexy.
Female coworker: No, no, now you’re just getting weird and nerdy. Aliens are not sexy.
Male coworker: I always imagined the female alien from Cocoon to be really sexy. She had a great body when the skin was on her, but there was something scary and yet awesome about the glowing part. I’d want her to keep her human skin on, but I imagine sex with her to be like nothing else you’ve ever imagined. And I imagine her kisses to taste like candy and electricity, like pop rocks or something.
Female coworker: Okay, now you’ve let me know too much information, and you’re still getting all nerdy.
Male coworker: Okay, you’re right. This is starting to sound weird.

Elmsford, New York

Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief

Ghetto anthropologist: As far as I'm concerned, I only came out of one woman!

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Right Place

Manager on phone: So I’m going to ask you a question, and you’re going to hate me for not knowing the answer. [pause] That was below the belt. [pause] It’s child protection. [pause] Annnyways, I was wondering…

473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey

Overheard by: office peon

Co-worker #1: I’m waiting for your response.
Co-worker #2: I just said something!
Co-worker #1: Oh, I can’t tell when you’re talking to me or to yourself.

330 Madison Ave
New York, NY

Overheard by: LRC

Coworker: Those people in the Tsunami, they deserved to die. They were being greedy, collecting fish from the sea…they should have known there are three phases of a Tsunami.

60 Livingston Avenue
St. Paul, Minnesota

Crazy office lady in middle of rant: Did you laugh during Watergate?
20-something intern: Dude, I was a sperm during Watergate.

Washington, DC

20-something Italian male, loudly: Why do you think I never wear shorts?

Groton, Connecticut

Frustrated old man, walking away from service call button at Home Depot: Might as well hang an asshole up there and press that!

San Diego, California

Crazy coworker: If my kid pooped in the closet, I'd rub his nose in it. “No! Bad!”
Sane female coworker: Your kids are going to be taken away by the state.
Sane male coworker: There's not even a question.

Grand Rapids, Michigan

Overheard by: Playtah

Lady #1 in supply room: I gotta touch it, I just got touch it!
Lady #2 in supply room: I really need to touch it!

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma