Employee: The ballerina broke the toilet.
1228 Egypt Road
Oaks, Pennsylvania
Employee: The ballerina broke the toilet.
1228 Egypt Road
Oaks, Pennsylvania
Applicant, explaining multi-year gap in employment history: I got sent to jail for stabbing a guy twelve times, but it was bullshit.
Manager: Oh yeah?
Applicant: Yeah. I only stabbed him six times; I just had two knives in my hand. It was bullshit.
Manager: Hmm. I see.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Employee #1: She turned around and said to the supervisor, “She just yelled at me.” I was like, “I didn’t yell at you!” I said it in front of the supervisor, but I didn’t care. I didn’t yell at her…That’s how people get locked up! People saying you did things you didn’t do. That’s how you go to jail.
Employee #2: Um, yeah.
130 East 59th Street
New York, New York
Man in armchair, to no one: You’re always fuckin’ starting with me. Every morning! [Long pause] And then you start in on the gay thing. I’m not talking to you! You started it, and then you tell me to shut up. You shut up! Always, you start it then tell me to shut up. [Long pause] And you try to tell me I’m sick… Read a goddamn newspaper! There’s child porn, and Anna Nicole Smith is dead and they’re fighting over her baby, and you tell me I’m sick?!
Book store
Greece, New York
Overheard by: confused reader
Girl: No! It was a regular chicken suit!
University of Missouri-Columbia
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Hop-15
Suit dancing with self through cubicles: Hubba, hubba! Ding, ding! I dance like a washing machine!
Cottonwood Lane
Colleyville, Texas
Overheard by: I don’t dance at all…
Cop: Put the knife down, you don’t want to do this.
Depressed guy: Stay back! I’m serious I’ll do it!
Cop: Come on, put the knife down so we can talk.
Depressed guy: Stay back!
Cop, pulling out his Taser: Ok, last chance, put the knife down or I’ll Tase you!
Depressd guy: Stop, I don’t want to get hurt!
Cromwell, Connecticut
Overheard by: CT Observer
Office girl: No one go in the ladies’ room. The Bathroom Bomber strikes again.
1520 Front Street
Yorktown Heights, NY
Overheard by: miss earwell
Co-worker: This lunchtime let’s lock ourselves in a toilet cubicle with a knife, some string and a needle, and see what happens.
144 Uxbridge Road
Shepherd’s Bush, London
UK
Cube dweller: I think you just need to eat more monkey…
731 Fairfield Court
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: it actually made sense at the time
