Office girl #1: Anyway, that's how this giant hoo-hah got started in the first place.
(snickering comes from nearby cubicles)
Office girl #1: What? Did I use the wrong word?
Office girl #2: Well, that depends on what you're talking about.
Boss man: I think you mean 'hoopla,” but you basically just said “giant vagina.”
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: freudianflip
Guy in elevator: So I had to go buy new shoelaces over lunch.
Girl in elevator: It's about time. You've been lacing them too tight for weeks. Makes me crazy.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: what
Male colleague to another, discussing fantasy football: You cannot make me happy unless you release all of your Johnsons.
Wilmington, Massachusetts
Coworker, about new Twitter follower: Never mind, I thought it was a hooker.
Amarillo, Texas
Overheard by: Gina
Cubicle mate on phone: Yeah, that’s so me. Wait, now what is this called? Well I’d rather be a dog walker than a porn star!
Topeka, Kansas
Coworker, gesticulating in front of window: The sun'll come out, tomorrow, betcher bottom… Oh my god, somebody just saw me do that.
Fordham University
Manhattan, New York
Cube dweller: You sonofabitch, you’re getting a goddamn manicure! If you don’t, I’m going to rip your goddamn nails off, because you don’t deserve them!
Office, Soho
New York, New York
Overheard by: Nervous Co-worker
Coworker #1, dropping summer sausage for lunch: Hey, you want some of my sausage?
Coworker #2: Only if you wash it off first.
Bourbonnais, Illinois
Overheard by: the closet is my office
Shoe store girl #1: You look tired all the time.
Shoe store girl #2: Well, I think it’s my allergies. I’m allergic to cats and I like to rub mine on my face all the time.
Shoe store girl #1: Oh.
Northgate Mall
Seattle, Washington
Girl #1: How do you spell “apost to”?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: You know, like, “I’m apost to go the store.”
Girl #2: Do you mean “supposed to”?
Girl #1: Yeah. Is “apost to” not a real word?
111 E. Wacker Boulevard
Chicago, Illinois
