Boss to group: I want to congratulate our rhythm and robustness!
Group:(looking around confused)
St Paul, Minnesota
Overheard by: Not Congratulated
Boss to group: I want to congratulate our rhythm and robustness!
Group:(looking around confused)
St Paul, Minnesota
Overheard by: Not Congratulated
Software developer, after running a successful test: Boo-yah! I’m not dumb! I may not know what 12 minus 5 is, but I’m not dumb! Who cares if I can’t add?
Suburb
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Co-worker #1: …I think you have a future in fertilizer sales, man.
Co-worker #2: I wouldn’t be surprised.
20 Park Plaza
Boston, Massachusetts
Guest: Man, I really love your food!
Server: Thank you, sir.
Guest: It gives me the strength of a puma!
Server: Uh… thank you sir?
5th St
Cincinnati, Ohio
CFO to staff: You are the tools who get things done…
Raleigh Road
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: tool
Designer: So, David*, what are you doing tonight?
Deaf box office manager: I’m-on-eh-leh.
Designer: Oh, you’re going to get laid?
(deaf box office manager nods)
Designer: Well, that’s nice.
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Employee #1: You’re making a mess with the mail. Envelopes are all over the place. They’re calling me to come clean them up.
Employee #2: They’re calling you? What are they saying?
Employee #1: “Come clean me up. I’m strewn about the table.”
Employee #2: …Because evelopes have such a good vocabulary.
Employee #1: Of course they do. That’s why they don’t stay sealed. They’ve got a lot to say.
12100 I-40 East
Amarillo, Texas
Suit: Do you have what I call a “sharpie”?
Secretary: …what you call a sharpie?
Suit: Yes.
Secretary: …you and no one else?
Suit: It’s like a, a felt-tipped pen.
Secretary: Oh, I know what it is.
Suit: Well, most people don’t know what it’s called.
Secretary: You’re kidding, right? It says it right on the pen.
Suit: Well, do you have one?
Secretary: Yes. Yes, I do. I keep it here in what I call my “drawer”.
795 Spring Street
San Francisco, California
Co-worker #1: Okay, that’s it.
Co-worker #2: What? Tell me that song doesn’t make you want to laugh.
Co-worker #1: It makes me want to shoot someone, then laugh.
270 South Flower Street
Burbank, California
Overheard by: Eric Johnson
Employee #1: Your haircut is just so cute, I meant to tell you! It looks just like–what was Spock on Star Trek? A Vulcan? It makes you look just like a Vulcan!
Employee #2: Um, thank you…
Employee #1: I hope you don't take that the wrong way!
Atlanta, Georgia
