Gay IT guy: Man, it's hot in here.
Coworker: Yeah, especially since you walked in, but we have the heater on.
Appleton City, Missouri
Gay IT guy: Man, it's hot in here.
Coworker: Yeah, especially since you walked in, but we have the heater on.
Appleton City, Missouri
Co-worker #1: Who are you talking to?
Co-worker #2: Myself.
Co-worker #1: Are you getting any answers?
100 Park Avenue
New York, NY
Assistant: Are you going to be in next week?
VP: Yes, unless al-Qaeda does something.
1120 20th Street NW
Washington, DC
Attorney #1: The governor suggested that everyone not evacuating write their social security number on their arm in indelible ink. I’m going to go through our database and tattoo the SSN of our richest client on my chest with my children as beneficiaries.
Attorney #2: You better get that tattoo on your ass because you’re going to be floating face down in the floodwater.
8555 United Plaza Boulevard
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Cashier: You have $3.99 in late fees for No Country for Old Men. Would you like to pay that today?
Customer: I didn’t rent that.
Cashier: You handed it to me when you walked in, sir.
Hollywood Video
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Jen
Guy #1: eHarmony. Maybe I should try that.
Guy #2: You’d have to know how to log on to a computer first.
190 N. Main Street
Roanoke, Indiana
Exec: Look, I don’t care about the Weekly World News. All I want to know is how this affects the Bigfoot cover!
Star Magazine
1 Park Avenue
New York, NY
Boss: You know what my problem is? I’m too nice a guy. I fired [Lenore] this morning. I should’ve kept her on till the end of the day, but then I would’ve felt like I was using her. I’m an idiot.
Salesperson: That’s two problems.
40 Shuman Boulevard
Naperville, Illinois
Doctor #1: I always say, “Carrots are like sandpaper for the colon.”
Doctor #2: Yeah, see, most people I know just eat them.
1500 East Medical Center Drive
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Employer: If I were to ask you for one thing you are not good at, what would it be?
Interviewee: Uh…answering questions like this one?
Insurance HR office
Toronto, Canadia
