Male co-worker #1: Stay away from [Pam]. She knows kickboxing.
Male co-worker #2: So? I know how to run very, very fast.
1250 Broadway
New York, New York
Male flight attendant: Okay, folks, one last time — please turn your cell phones off. If the person next to you is talking on their phone, smack ’em! That should teach them.
Southwest flight 1911 to Oakland, California
Overheard by: Katie
Employee: Hi, can I help you?
Customer’s cell rings.
Customer: Hold on a sec… [answers cell] Hey! did you talk to Jeremy*? He is pissed at you… Why? ‘Cause you put gay shit all over his MySpace! There is a guy with a huge dick on his MySpace! Yeah! You better help him get it off ’cause he doesn’t know how! Okay, bye.
Employee: Uhhh…
Customer: Yeah, can I get a sundae, please?
1050 Montauk Highway
Copiague, New York
Overheard by: i hate customers…
Secretary: I’ve been meaning to ask you a question.
Lawyer: Sure, what’s up?
Secretary: So you’re Indian, right? I’m going to an Indian funeral today. And I’m not sure how to act.
Lawyer: Well…you’re not supposed to laugh.
Secretary: But they’re so Indian that they’re going to have her cremated.
Lawyer: That doesn’t mean you can laugh. Also wear all white.
1425 K Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: callmeahab
Coworker #1: You made your own bed, dude.
Coworker #2, pouting: I know! But that's what I do when I'm drunk. I make beds!
Seattle, Washington
[In the ER.]Nurse #1: Oh my god.
Nurse #2: What?
Nurse #1, looking horrified: I just entered all of these notes on the wrong patient’s file.
Nurse #2: It’s okay. Just go back, delete, and re-enter them for the right patient.
Nurse #1, distressed at herself: But that’s awful! What would have happened?
Nurse #2, shrugging: ‘s’okay, happens all the time.
Hospital
Beckley, West Virginia
Woman #1: I haven’t had a haircut since my friend died.
Woman #2: Why not?
Woman #1: She used to do my hair for nothing.
Woman #2: Well, it looks like a fucking Brillo pad now. I’d throw some money at your head, and fast!
365 W Passaic Street
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Woman on phone: I just don’t want you to end up on that show where the news reporter comes into the kitchen and the guys have their pants off…
K Street
Washington, DC
CSR #1 to CSR #2: You know, you should really try getting to work on time. You don't want them to fire you.
CSR #2: They can't fire me! I put my notice in the day I started!
Greenville, South Carolina
Secretary: Don’t mail your boogers to people!
401 Church Street
Nashville, Tennessee
