Cube rat to another: … Or you could try masturbating five times in one day!
Customer, entering moments before: [Clears her throat.]Cube rats: … Shit.
NW 39th Street
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Cube rat to another: … Or you could try masturbating five times in one day!
Customer, entering moments before: [Clears her throat.]Cube rats: … Shit.
NW 39th Street
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Woman #1, waiting for elevator: We should really take the stairs.
Woman #2: Yeah. I've been trying to take the stairs more.
(they proceed to wait another three minutes, until elevator finally comes)
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Cube dweller #1: You just have to insert his name, then you should be able to get it up.
Cube dweller #2: What?!
Cube dweller #3: It would be surprising if she could get it up.
Cube dweller #4: Got it!
Cube dweller #1: She got it up!
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: confused but amused
Training instructor: You should not upgrade the software right when a patch comes out. Sometimes it may have bugs.
Student: So, it’s like when you take a drug, sometimes it can have side effects like—
Training instructor: Yeah, but let’s keep the discussion focused on software.
Student: —Throwing up, vomiting…
Training instructor: Uh, yeah.
Madison, Alabama
Worker #1: But the nice thing is, this way, you can get up from your desk for a while.
Worker #2: Yeah…I could really use some blood in my ass.
1855 South Grant Street
San Mateo, California
Co-worker #1: I’m really hot.
Co-worker #2: I’m turning the heat down to 90. If anyone’s cold then they can go into [Jessica]’s office, but first you have to take off your clothes because it’s a sauna in there.
Co-worker #3: You shouldn’t tell people to take their clothes off before going into [Jessica]’s office.
57 Binney Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Computer guy #1: I can’t see the hard drive on this network.
Computer guy #2: Well, the problem is that the disk isn’t mounted. First you have to mount Claire*.
Claire: Hey!
Computer guy #2: Claire is the name of the office hard drive.
701 South Mount Vernon Avenue
San Bernardino, California
Overheard by: Amused
Coworker #1: You should use the clap method.
Coworker #2: Me and the clap just don't mix.
Washington, DC
Male flight attendant: Okay, folks, one last time — please turn your cell phones off. If the person next to you is talking on their phone, smack ’em! That should teach them.
Southwest flight 1911 to Oakland, California
Overheard by: Katie
