Newbie: So Diane* is the one with dirty blonde hair?
Seasoned worker: I don't think they like the term “dirty.”
Newbie: Oh yeah, my girlfriend kinda likes being called “dirty.”
Seasoned worker: I meant the hair color.
Newbie: I know!
Inverness Work Plex
Denver, Colorado
Client with sick dog: I need to see the veterinarian on duty because my dog isn't feeling well.
Veterinarian receptionist: Is your dog a male or female?
Client with sick dog: She's a male.
Wooster, Ohio
Overheard by: netty
CSR on phone: His name is Dan. That's “d” as in “dog,” “a” as in “apple,” “n” as in “India.”
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: bored receptionist
Coworker on phone: Hi, may I speak to your moaner? I mean, “owner”?
Mustang, Oklahoma
Editor, looking at ad for “Summer Garden Madness”: Why is everything “madness”? There’s nothing “madness” about a basket of vegetables.
2 Penn Plaza
New York, New York
Overheard by: angry carrot
Sorority girl in Spanish class: ‘Diabolico…’ That means he’s diabetic, right?
Classmate: No, it means diabolic.
Sorority girl: So, diabolic… Is that like a medical condition?
Modern Languages building, University of Arizona
Tucson, Arizona
IT guy to another, about version 2.0 of the website: Is this the final solution?
Bethesa, Maryland
Overheard by: uncomfortable cube dweller
Contractor: …so we should definitely take a good look at him. I
don’t want to snowball with more mess.
Specialist: …Um…Yeah.
12443 Olive Boulevard
St. Louis, Missouri
Boss: From now on, people, we’re going to make Perfection our baseline.
The development team laughs.
Developer: Dude, whatever the fuck you’ve been reading, stop it.
1 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Mad William Flint
Coworker #1, about potato chips: I enjoy regular Lays.
Coworker #2: Who doesn't?
Scarborough
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Cnote
