Cute gay guy: Tome Cruise and Katie Holmes were looking for an apartment on my street.
Female coworker: Oh, really?
Cute gay guy: Yeah, I live on Toorak Road. If they move there, I wanna steal Suri. And have crazy bum sex on my balcony! (demonstrates by thrusting in the air) Take that, Scientology!
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Giggling
Teen boy: I want you to keep writing for the school newspaper. You can be our foreign correspondent!
Teen girl: Foreign? I’m not foreign just because I left the school.
Teen boy: Yes, you are. You’re so far now.
Teen girl: I’m on the other side of Scarborough, and you’re saying I might as well be in Bolivia!
Teen boy: We can say you are, if you want.
Ontario Universities’ Fair, Metro Toronto Convention Centre
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: made me laugh
Intern: I wish I could remember Matt Damon's name in Good Will Hunting…
Santa Fe Building
Denver, Colorado
Woman flipping through old textbook: In my ideal world, all Davids are naked.
Oldferry Road
Bristol, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Amy
Employee #1: I don’t know how you got a better review than you did last year.
Employee #2: Yeah, me either.
Employee #1: You know, I really only get about 50% out of you each day.
Employee #2: Yeah, that sounds about right. Some days more, some days less. Usually less.
Employee #1: Wouldn’t it be great if I got that 100% out of you, though?
Employee #2: Probably, but I really just don’t feel like it.
901 Warrenville Road
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Recovering Workaholic
Receptionist, yelling: I want to show everyone my box!
Melbourne
Australia
Model #1: I want to put babies in you.
Model #2: You want to impregnate me?
Model #1: No, I want to slice you open and shove babies in you.
Model #2: That's sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Adult Film Company
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: fetishgirl
Cubicle rat: He's losing control of his bowels all over the place, his toe nails are long, he stinks and he's getting old. I think I need to put him down.
Cubicle neighbor: I hope you are talking about an animal.
Lansing, Michigan
Girl applying for marriage license, to fiance: You sure you want to do this?
Fiance to girl: Who else am I gonna marry?
Girl to clerk: Is this the same place you come for divorce too?
Clerk of Court Office
Titusville, Florida
Overheard by: Tricia
Boss: What's the hourly rate for Becky? (pause) I want to know her hourly rate. How much per hour?
Lexington, Kentucky
Overheard by: Brian
