How to Get Hungry Sarah* to Go Off on You

Coworker #1: I cannot wait for lunch.
Coworker #2: Do you want something from the vending machine?
Coworker #1: No, I want like food-food.
Coworker #3: Uh, what's “food-food”, Sarah*?
Coworker #1, dumbfounded: Um… Like food that's filling. Not just chips or something.
Coworker #3: Oh, like chicken?

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: also dumbfounded

Posted on October 18, 2014
Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, New York, Offers and requests, Questions, Wishes, Words

Might Make Our Commute More Difficult, Though

Employee #1: I wish we still had dinosaurs. That would be awesome!
Employee #2: Are you high?
Employee #1: No, no, no. I'm just saying, it would totally solve the goose problem.

McLean, Virginia

Posted on October 13, 2014
Animals, Coworkers, Questions, Virginia, Weirdness, Wishes

Oh, Stop Fishing for Compliments

Desk worker #1: I think we need something new in our lobby.
Desk worker #2: I could use a new rack. Mine’s all worn out. See how this just hangs?

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: institution of higher education

Posted on October 12, 2014
Body Parts, Coworkers, Employees, Feelings, Massachusetts, Offers and requests, Physical Appearance, Sexuality, Wishes

This Time Just Be a Bit More Emphatic with the “Ttthhhhbbtt”

CSR on quality control recording of recent call: Hello, this is Brian*, how can I help you?
Caller: Kathy.
CSR: Sorry, what?
Caller: I want Kathy. Now.
CSR: Okay. Well, she's probably not available right now. Can I help you?
Caller: Fuck you. I don't want to talk to you. I only want to talk to Kathy. You talk like an asshole.
CSR: Sir, assholes talk like this: “tttthhhhhhbbbbbttttttttttt”. I've done no such thing. I'll have to ask you to call back when you're feeling more appropriate.
Quality control monitor: Good. Next call.

Financial District
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Alan

Posted on October 10, 2014
Bosses, Canadia, Customer Service, Customer Support, Customers, Insults, Language barrier, On the phone, Questions, Wishes

Bet Dolly Parton Never Uses That Expression

Accounting supervisor: I'd really like for this customer to start paying on time.
Trade floor director: Well, I'd like bigger tits and a smaller ass, but that's not going to happen.

Houston, Texas

Posted on October 3, 2014
Body Parts, Bosses, Compare and contrast, Financial Folk, Money, Physical Appearance, Texas, Weirdness, Wishes

Raise Your Hand If Your Physical Therapy Was Like This

Older lady: Get your filthy hand off me, you son of a whore!
Guy: You comin' back this afternoon?
Older lady: Yeah, I guess. You want me to?
Guy: Yeah, sure.
Older lady: Okay, then. See you later.

Catawba, Virginia

Posted on September 29, 2014
Friends, Insults, Virginia, Weirdness, Wishes

Apparently, “Analyst” Is, Like, a Gay Thing

Specialist: So we can do more width, or more length. Which do you want?
Analyst: Let's go with more length.

South Burlington, Vermont

Overheard by: Megan

Posted on September 28, 2014
Dorks, Geeks, & Nerds, Questions, Vermont, Wishes, Words

And Prepare to Receive Communication from the CEO

Coworker: The first message I have is Dave claiming to be a proctologist. Which is why I'm not sure I want to be in this conversation.
Dave: Bend over.

Alpharetta, Georgia