For Some Reason, This Scene Was Cut from Pretty Woman

Sad girl, folding t-shirts: And I totally didn't understand why he's like “we need some time apart”. Like, I really thought he was my soulmate. We were the fairytale movie couple, I really loved him… And then he's just like “you call too much. You talk too much. You should stop calling me”.
Uninterested male coworker: Uh, well, you said he paid you for what you called a “one night stand”…
Sad girl: Well, it sounds so bad when you say it like that. Yes, he paid me for that, but I don't know… I felt a connection.
Uninterested male coworker: Yeah, uh… You're a prostitute and he just wanted sex.
Sad girl: Oh, shut up, ass!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Julie

Posted on April 17, 2015
Cinema, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Feelings, General Idiocy, Illinois, Insults, Money, Relationships, Sexuality, Wishes

We're Selling the Video at the Counter

Butcher holding up pork: These are the finest butts I've ever seen. In fact, I just boned them myself!

Grand Blanc, Michigan

Posted on April 17, 2015
Body Parts, Employees, Michigan, Sexuality, Weirdness

We’ve Just Found Our Slogan!

Ad guy, discussing viability of a “dildo flask”: That way you have a business end and a party end.
Ad gal: Both ends are the party end on a hoo-ha flask!

Rio Salado Parkway
Tempe, Arizona

Overheard by: Jeff

Posted on April 16, 2015
Advertising, Body Parts, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Sexuality

Unless You Seriously Consider a Boob Job

Office grunt: Tony*, you're retarded–of course you're going to be poor!

Wall Street
New York City, New York

Posted on April 16, 2015
Coworkers, Default, Insults, Money, New York, People, Sexuality

And As Stenographers

Publisher rep: This guy did a study on blind men who use prostitutes.
Book buyer: Ok.
Publisher rep, whispering: For sex.

308 Westwood Plaza
Los Angeles, California

Posted on April 15, 2015
California, Customers, Dumb Employees, Places, Publishing, Sales, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality

You Can't Teach Talent

Program manager on phone: Have you thought of marrying this chick? (pause) Does she give good head? (pause) Okay, is she willing to learn?

North Carolina

Posted on April 15, 2015
Bosses, Education, North Carolina, On the phone, Questions, Sexuality

I'll Give You Four Guesses.

Male coworker #1, walking up to soda machine: Yippee, a free soda!
Female coworker: That's good karma.
Male coworker #1: Yeah, I earned this! Whoever lost this did some bad things.
(walks out smiling with two sodas)
Male coworker #2, entering: Hey! Who took my drink? I left it while I went to the bathroom.
Female coworker: What were you doing in the bathroom?

San Diego, California

Posted on April 15, 2015
California, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, Religion, Restroom, Sexuality

If I’m Ever Too Old to Chuckle at the Phrase ‘Do It,’ Pull the Plug

Man: It’s OK. We can still do it in my office.
Woman: That sounds fantastic.

Route 9
Wellesley Hills, Massachusetts

Overheard by: twelve step

Posted on April 14, 2015
Coworkers, Massachusetts, Metro Northeast, Sexuality, Words

But It Reads at a 40-Year-Old's Level

Office lady, answering about her age: A lady never tells. My box is 30-35.

Brooklyn, New York

Overheard by: casayoto

Posted on April 14, 2015
Age and ageing, Body Parts, Education, Employees, New York, Sexuality

Spencer's Is Not for the Faint Of Heart

Middle aged woman going to sorority reunion: Isn't Spencer's like a five and dime store?
Friend: No! It's a nasty, nasty, dirty store. I can hardly stand to go in there.
Middle aged woman: Well, what did you go there for?
Friend: I had to get a blow-up doll. They didn't have any.

Airport
Birmingham, Alabama

Posted on April 11, 2015
Alabama, Friends, Meetings, Questions, Sexuality, Weirdness

Sexuality