Female boss on phone: I have never seen one that big, I don't think I can handle one that big.
Pharmacy
Atlanta, Georgia
Female boss on phone: I have never seen one that big, I don't think I can handle one that big.
Pharmacy
Atlanta, Georgia
Coworker #1: We had our monthly departmental breakfast this morning, and Lauren* just wouldn't stop going on about how she never eats sausage. But she sure looks like she eats a lot of sausage.
Coworker #2: Come on, man–we all know that Lauren has never even seen a sausage in her life!
Bellevue, Washington
20-something office girl: Remember, that e-mail said that you're supposed to swab your nose or use a neti pot, and gargle with salt water or Listerine to prevent the swine flu.
30-something office dude: Is that what you do?
20-something office girl: I swab my nose and flush my nostrils, and I swish Listerine. But I don't gargle.
30-something office dude: Why not?
20-something office girl: I can't do it. I've never been able to. I just don't know how to gargle, and believe me, I've tried it. As soon as something hits the back of my throat, my instinct is to swallow.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
CSR: That reminds me of when my boyfriend sat on my face.
Scarborough
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Cnote
Lady Executive: I don’t even want to hear from you, Stewart. You know you fucked me on that paper deal. You fucked me hard and you didn’t even kiss me.
2233 King Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Next Big Thing
CSR #1: I like that we are looking up how to make chloroform while talking about pick-up lines in bars…
CSR #2: Well, we already decided that pick-up lines don't work.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Chemist
Boss to underling: How's that look over there? Is it in yet?
College
Portland, Oregon
Semi technologically-challenged nurse practitioner: Everything is going to my draft box.
Aventura, Florida
Overheard by: Lizzo
Woman: I hate working here. It makes me want to throw my morals out the window, and become a slut.
Co-worker: A slut…There’s an image for you.
Woman: I don’t mean I want to be a slut. I just want to know what all these people are like in bed. No one small, of course.
Co-worker: So you’ll be handing out a questionnaire?
56 59 Junction
Baldwin City, Kansas
Straight guy: And why would I be happy turning gay?
Straight girl: Duh!
Straight guy #2: “Gay” means “happy!”
Straight guy: (silence)
Straight guy #2: “Gay” also means “gay.”
Straight guy: I fail to see your point.
Quorum Drive
Addison, Texas
