Employee #1 to #2: Hey, haven't seen you on FarmVille in a while.
Employee #2: Yeah, I've been busy.
Employee #3, walking into office: What are you talking about?
Employee #1: Oh, nothing, just telling Mark* that he needs to get off his ass and come plow my crops.
Employee #3, walking out of office: Wow… Just wow.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: FBook has changed the world as we know it…
Employee, to boss : These internet blocks suck. I just got kicked off for trying to google whether or not Jamie Lee Curtis is a hermaphrodite!
Boss : Well, try to remember to look it up when you get home.
Providence, Rhode Island
Receptionist: With girls it’s okay to imagine things and dream. Boys, you do that, you’re gay.
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: True Believer
Perky female temp, walking over to supervisor's cubicle: Hey, I heard we got a new fax machine! Awesome!
Female supervisor: Yeah, it's pretty exciting. They're setting it up right now.
Male supervisor: There seems to be some erotic fascination with the new fax machine. Everyone's over there crowded around it.
(awkward silence)
Perky female temp: I'm gonna go look at it right now!
Female supervisor: Yeah, me too!
Bloomington, Minnesota
Overheard by: I'm pretty sure he meant
Stockbroker, matter-of-factly: I don’t care about the results of interspecies breeding, I just want to have entire populations of zoos inseminating our women. That is an end in itself.
Financial District
Boston, Massachusetts
Social worker: So I gave the kid my copy of the DSM so he could diagnose his dog, and when he brought the book back he asked me for some porn. I thought the book was a good starting point so he could help his dog, but I don’t know about the porn. He is only 17.
260 South Broad Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: lora
Lawyer: I didn't ask for it, I didn't seek it out. All I know is that someone had their hand on my penis.
Chesapeake, Virginia
Attorney on conference call: Your honor, opposing counsel is beating a dead whore!
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: Glad she's not a dead whore
Attorney on phone to male co-counsel: Helloooo my little queen! Did you get that fat bastard on the phone?
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
Woman: So if you’ve never done it before, it’s going to hurt the first time and maybe even bleed a bit.
Man: Uh huh.
Woman: So don’t be afraid. You should try it. It’s definitely worth it.
Other people in elevator shuffle uncomfortably.
Woman: Um…So flossing is crucial to good dental hygiene.
Elevator
Houston, Texas
