A Better Solution Than ‘Always Turn Left’

Receptionist on phone: I know, this piercing is the best! Now whenever I have sex with someone really stupid, they are bound to find it!

The Generator Hostel
London, England

Overheard by: JJK

Posted on February 5, 2015
Customer Service, General Idiocy, London, On the phone, Receptionists, Sexuality

How Ron Jeremy Got His Start

Office worker: That's so rude!
Receptionist: I know, right? I'm just a receptionist, but I'm a good receptionist, so… Go blow yourself…

Adelaide
Australia

Posted on January 29, 2015
Australia, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Employees, Insults, Receptionists

Or Would That Be Cheetahng?

Receptionist: What if a man mated with a cheetah? Would he be able to participate in the Olympics?

Redmond, Washington

Overheard by: Cheetaur

Posted on January 26, 2015
Animals, General Idiocy, Questions, Receptionists, Sports, Washington, Weirdness

What If Your Co-Worker’s an Asshole?

Assistant #1: What if you get a busy signal?
Assistant #2: That means it’s busy.
Assistant #1, after a long pause: Thank you.

450 N Street
Sacramento, California

Overheard by: Assistant #3

Posted on January 23, 2015
California, Coworkers, Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, Questions, Receptionists

If It Were, This Mimosa Would Be a Lot More Appropriate

Receptionist: Good morning, ABC* machinery.
Customer: Good morning, can I speak to Bob*?
Receptionist: One moment, please.
Customer, under his breath: It's not morning!

Amarillo, Texas

Overheard by: Jocelyn

Posted on January 21, 2015
Customer Service, General Idiocy, Names, On the phone, Receptionists, Texas

No, Your Children Do

Receptionist: Does the president have to pay the mortgage on the White House?

1600 Utica Avenue South
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: wish she hadn’t voted

Posted on January 18, 2015
General Idiocy, Government, Minnesota, Money, Office Politics, Receptionists

2PM Cover Shoot

Photographer: You can’t just leave and not tell anyone. You guys left and no one was here to help.
First assistant: Look, I’m sick of you bitching at me about this petty bullshit. Don’t talk to me unless you’ve got something important to say.
Second assistant: Mom and Dad are fighting again.

2616 Industrial Row Road
Troy, Michigan

Posted on January 17, 2015
Designers and Photographers, Gripes, Insults, Michigan, Receptionists, Violence

Um, All I Asked Was “Are Your Printer Toner Needs Being Met?”, Ma'am.

Receptionist to coworker: Bagels can absorb alcohol just as easily as eggs and sausage!

Manhattan, New York

Posted on January 15, 2015
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Drinking, Meals and Snacks, New York, Receptionists

Do You Have Any Idea How Many Pies Are in One of Her?

Big fat receptionist: Ooh what is that?
Office worker #1: A caramel mochiatto from Starbucks.
Big fat receptionist: I hope you brought me one!
Office worker #2: Do you have any idea how many calories are in one of those?

200 Park Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Sebastian O’Conner

Posted on January 15, 2015
Comebacks, Coworkers, Diet & Weight, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, New York, Receptionists

2PM Deliver Invoices to Probation Office

Secretary: There was a black man who lived in my county. He was the only one. We called him Nigger Jim.
Co-worker: What?
Secretary: Oh, it was okay. He called himself that. He was retarded.
Co-worker: Where is he now?
Secretary: Prison.

130 East Main Street
Canton, Georgia

Posted on January 15, 2015
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Georgia, Insults, Race, Receptionists

Receptionists