5PM Flee the Office

Co-worker #1 walks by [Seth].

Co-worker #1: Hi!
Seth: …

Co-worker #1: Yo, what’s the deal with [Seth]? That guy is a straight up tower shooter.

4 Airport Park Boulevard
Latham, New York

Overheard by: Nathan

Posted on February 22, 2023
Coworkers, Gossip, Gripes, New York, Questions, Words

1PM Lunch

Boss: Where did that report go? I have a meeting in less than ten minutes! Where did you put that report?…I just had it! Why do you keep hiding things on me?
Secretary: Look in your briefcase.
Boss: It’s not in my briefcase! I just looked in it! Why would it be in my briefcase?
Secretary: Because you just put it in there, dumbass.
Boss: No, I didn’t! I would know if it’s in my briefcase!
Secretary: You sure?
Boss: Yes! I’m positive! I know it’s not…Oh, here it is.
Secretary: And where was it…?
Boss: In my briefcase.
Secretary: Dumbass…go to your meeting and stop bugging me.
Boss: I have to buy you lunch again, don’t I?
Secretary: Yep. And don’t even think that Burger King is going to cut it this time.

One Penn Plaza
New York, NY

Overheard by: mshorty

Posted on February 20, 2023
Bosses and Underlings, Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy, Gripes, Insults, Meals and Snacks, New York, Questions, Receptionists, Smart Employees

He Sounds Exactly Like the Real Song!

Real estate agent #1: My son is teaching himself how to play guitar! He's getting real good!
Real estate agent #2: That's great! What's he using?
Real estate agent #1: This program called Guitar Hero.

Morris Plains, New Jersey

Overheard by: JMB

Posted on February 19, 2023
Coworkers, Education, Family, General Idiocy, New Jersey, Questions, Technology

But Can You Take This?

Op: You know what would make a great pet?
Ernie: No, what?
Op: A badger.
Ernie: Yeah, great. Great at ripping human flesh off.
Op: Exactly, burglar protection.
Ernie: No, I was talking about your flesh.
Op: Oh… I can take it.

Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on February 18, 2023
Animals, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Massachusetts, Questions

People Say Things at Work They’d Never Say Anywhere Else

Office girl on phone: Am I coming into you or are you coming into me?

Melbourne, Florida

Overheard by: John

Posted on February 13, 2023
Florida, On the phone, Questions

Right Next to the ‘Irony’ Button

Customer, trying to use his debit card: I gotta push “English”? “Spanish” shouldn’t be an option. If they can’t speak no English, they ain’t got no business being here. Where’s the “yes” button at?
Cashier: It’s the button that says “yes” on it.

Food Lion
Roanoke, Virginia

Posted on February 12, 2023
Dumb Customers, Employees, General Idiocy, Language barrier, Questions, Technology, Virginia

I Would, but That's Just Me

Older man checking in at resort: Do I sign where it says “signature”?

Hilton Head Island, South Carolina

Posted on February 9, 2023
Age and ageing, Dumb Customers, General Idiocy, Questions, South Carolina

Just Put It In Your Pocket

CSR: So you’d like to rent a 12 foot stepladder?
Customer: Yes…How big is that?
CSR: Well, it’s about 12 feet, sir.
Customer: I can strap that on top of a cab, right?

533 Canal Street
New York, NY