Bar girl: So you haven't picked up in a year?
Bouncer: Look, it has to be right. I can pick up a girl, ball-gag her and fuck her in the ass, but sometimes I want to cuddle too.
Bar
Melbourne
Austrailia
Bar girl: So you haven't picked up in a year?
Bouncer: Look, it has to be right. I can pick up a girl, ball-gag her and fuck her in the ass, but sometimes I want to cuddle too.
Bar
Melbourne
Austrailia
New client: Excuse me, but I think there's been a mistake. I don't need to see an attorney. I thought I made an appointment to meet with a legal aide… A legal… You know… What are they called?
Legal assistant: No, ma'am. Everyone meets with the attorney. They are the only ones qualified to give legal advice. Otherwise it's considered practicing law without a license.
New client: But I don't need legal advice, I just need someone to tell me what the law says!
Country Club Road
Eugene, Oregon
White male suit: How's tricks?
White female suit: Tricks?
White male suit: It's a hip hop way of saying “How's it going?”.
White female suit: You're so gangsta.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Totally gangsta.
Clueless dude: Did you hear that Stump is coming to town?
Chick with a clue: What is that, the amputee review?
(pause)
Chick with a clue: You meant “Stomp”, didn't you?
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Ikeed Unaught
University call center rep: Okay ma'am, what program were you interested in?
Prospective student: Well, I'm not exactly sure. I was thinking of something in prostitution. (pause) Oh, that's not right.
University Drive
Davie, Florida
Project manager: With some of these clients, the question is, how educated are them?
Cleveland, Ohio
Sales manager to marketing manager: Isn't it sad when you've spent so much time talking on the phone to customers during the day that you don't want to talk to your wife when you get home?
Marketing manager: No.
Sales manager to recently engaged co-worker: See, this is what you have to look forward to. During the first year you'll argue like crazy, then after that… You won't care anymore.
Tennessee
Overheard by: M&M
Customer service rep #1: I am soooo excited! I'm going to get my nails done as soon as I get off work. I am going to look so good for my trip this weekend!
Customer service rep #2: Wow, where are you going?
Customer service rep #1 (excitedly): Across the street!
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Vicky
Office dude: It's raining, I can hear it.
Office chick: Outside?
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Why does it always rain on me?
Boss: So what did you think of the meeting?
Underling: It was pretty good -he seemed relatively accommodating and…
Boss: (stares hard at underling)
Underling: Ummmmm?
Boss: Oh yeah, sorry. I farted.
Bay and King
Toronto, Canadia
Overheard by: Wow.
