Orthodox Dude in Peyes, Platform Hat, Black Three-Piece Suit: ‘What Did You Just Say?’

Cube dude: I don’t mean this to be harsh, but, you know, the Talmud wasn’t exactly written just to justify your fashion choices.

350 Madison Avenue
New York, New York

Posted on December 28, 2018
Coworkers, Gripes, New York, Physical Appearance, Places, Religion

I Was TRYING to Look at Kiddie Porn

Engineer, to the HR director: Just in case you get a phone call about it later, I wasn’t trying to look at gay porn on my computer.

Farmers Branch, Texas

Posted on October 28, 2018
Coworkers, Engineers, Internet, Lies, Places, Sexuality, Texas

And for Surprise Guests with Undiscriminating Palates

Coworker, after scavenging through lunch meeting leftovers: My sandwich didn’t look very fulfilling so I added some corned beef.
Fellow scavenger: Wait -there was corned beef in there?
Coworker: No, I keep some in my office for emergencies.

Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: Nook

Posted on September 5, 2018
Coworkers, Employees, Meals and Snacks, Meetings, Ohio, Places, Smart Employees

Please Hold It Up So I Can See It

CSR: Thank you for calling Widgets Inc.* How may I help you?
Customer: I’m calling about my bill.
CSR: OK, which bill are you calling about?
Customer: The one I received.

3445 North M-291 Highway
Independence, Missouri

Posted on August 29, 2018
Customer Service, Dumb Customers, General Idiocy, Missouri, On the phone, Places

Sign: You Must Be This Tall to Be a Mom

Woman co-worker: She’s just always been angry at the world. She thinks people don’t respect her because she’s a midget, and a single mother.

Crenshaw Blvd
Torrance, California

Posted on June 18, 2018
Body Parts, California, Coworkers, Default, Family, Feelings, Gripes, Places

Made from 100% USDA Grade A Cops

Temp: All the food here is good, especially the bacon. I mean, this is real bacon, not the kind you buy at the store.

Culinary school
Pasadena, California

Overheard by: I’m surrounded by idiots

Posted on May 18, 2018
California, Compliments, Education, Interns & Temps, Meals and Snacks, Places

Left Handed?

Co-worker #1: So the new governor of New York is legally blind!
Co-worker #2: Yeah, and he’s black. And he’s something else too… Blind, black… And… What else?
Co-worker #3: What else is there?

Burlington, Massachusetts

Posted on April 17, 2018
Coworkers, Dumb Employees, Insults, Massachusetts, Physical Appearance, Places, Politics, Questions, Race, Sensory Experiences, Words

And Apparently There’s Also This Other Thing? Called Panties?

Girl: Omigosh, I learned something today. Did you know that bras have an adjustable strap? Well, the one I’m wearing today was always loose and showing my boobies a little, but then I adjusted the strap, and whoa, let me tell ya, my boobs are like five feet higher in the air, and they are fully covered.

Career Center
Winston-Salem, North Carolina

Overheard by: azn

Posted on July 30, 2016
Bimbettes, Body Parts, Compliments, General Idiocy, North Carolina, Physical Appearance, Places

Empiricist Cooking Has Its Limitations

VP: But how will we make grilled cheese?
Drone: With the toaster oven.
VP: Well, I never, you’ll have to show me how to use it.
Drone: Have you used a toaster?
VP: Yes!
Drone: Have you used an oven?
VP: YES!
Drone: Then you can use a toaster oven.
VP: Well, I have never seen such a thing.

Benzing Road
Orchard Park, New York

Posted on July 1, 2016
Bosses and Underlings, Executives, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, New York, Places, Questions

A Lesser-Known Corollary Of the Patriot Act

iPod chick #1: I told Lauren* to look hot today, we’ll see…
iPod chick #2: I know, it’s so hard for her. She can only look hot like once a month.

Waltham, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Joe

Posted on May 9, 2016
Advice, Coworkers, Default, Friends, Insults, Massachusetts, Physical Appearance, Places, Sexuality

Places