Employee #1: Where is Great Britain?
Employee #2: I think it’s a city in Scotland or something.
Toronto, Canada
Employee #1: Where is Great Britain?
Employee #2: I think it’s a city in Scotland or something.
Toronto, Canada
Student: I hate going to the weight room. Those weights are heavy.
School
Texas
Overheard by: dan
White attorney,at deposition: Are there any activities you used to do before the accident that you can no longer do?
Trinidadian woman, 55: I can’t get my freak on anymore.
White attorney, smiling: Remember, I have to report this to a bunch of other white people. How often did you used to freak before the accident?
Trinidadian woman: Oh, I went to dance clubs all the time. Plus I used to go hiking all the time.
White attorney: And by “hiking,” you mean walking on nature trails, right? I mean, that’s not some hip-hop slang, right?
Trinidadian woman: Yeah, just walking up mountains and stuff.
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Boss: Sorry about being slow with the orders this summer. I was depressed and almost left my husband. Moving on, I have now ordered some new backpacks for us to sell.
North Washington
Scranton, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Becky
Coworker #1: How’s the weather outside?
Coworker #2: Pretty good, it’s like getting spit on.
Brooklyn Army Terminal
Brooklyn, New York
Male Debt Collector #1: …I’m pretty sexist.
Male Debt Collector #2: I’m not sexist, I’m just realistic.
Magill
South Australia
Australia
Overheard by: Ilse
Insurance salesman: Now, you can only die once, but you can become disabled many times.
Florida
Professor: We need this paper to be huge! I want people to fear us when we go to meetings… We need to be like male elephants!
Grad student #1: You want me to grow tusks?
Grad student #2: You want me to grow big ears?
Professor: No! We need to pee all over everything!
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Male interviewer: So where are you from?
Female applicant: I’m from here, but all my family is from Vietnam.
Male interviewer: Yeah? My ex-wife is from Vietnam. Ever since that war over there, I haven’t really been a fan of wars, ya know?
Doc Green’s, Cumberland Boulevard
Atlanta, Georgia
Customer: What’s this called?
Sales associate: A duvet cover.
Customer: No, no… what’s inside it?
Sales associate: A duvet.
IKEA
Costa Mesa, California
Overheard by: trying not to laugh
