What If She's Tired Of Dealing with Heels All Day?

Receptionist on phone: That's what I'm sayin'. A hooker wouldn't be in flats.

Five Points Station
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Wearing Sneakers

Posted on April 22, 2009
Clothes, General Idiocy, Georgia, On the phone, Receptionists, Sexuality

Why Bill's Lovers Find Him Tedious in Bed

Boss on phone, eating cashews: Excuse me, I had a handful of nuts in my hand and put them in my mouth.
Lady on the other end: That's okay.
Boss, with mouth full of cashews: No, it's not, I apologize pitifully.

Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: He wasn't sorry

Posted on April 20, 2009
Body Parts, Bosses, Kentucky, Meals and Snacks, On the phone, Sexuality

If You Don't Know, He's Not Doing It Right.

Boss, yelling at employee during conference call: I need to know if this guy is jerking me off or not!

18th St.
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Cill the Obscure

Posted on April 20, 2009
Bosses, Employees, New York, On the phone, Sexuality, Weirdness

And Refrain from Entering My Office for at Least Half an Hour

Boss: Whats wrong?
Red-faced receptionist: I just picked up a call and you could hear people having sex on the other line! I'm afraid to answer the phone now…
Boss: From now on, put those calls through to me.

Edmonton
Canadia

Posted on April 15, 2009
Bosses, Canadia, On the phone, Receptionists, Sexuality

Mr. Cheney Really Should Give Up Hunting

Employee answering phone: Thank you for calling… (gets squirted with silly string) Aahh!
Customer: What?
Employee: I'm sorry, I just got shot in the face with something.

Scotts Valley, California

Overheard by: Mari

Posted on April 10, 2009
Accidents, Body Parts, California, Customers, Employees, On the phone, Sexuality

Hard Finding a Prostitute in Baltimore, Huh?

Grad student: So I think that the manuscript should be organized differently…
(advisor's phone rings, he has a quick conversation in Arabic)
Advisor: Goddammit, sorry. I hate when my damn Arab relatives call, they always want me to set them up with prostitutes for their trips to the United States.
Grad student: Uh…
Advisor: Anyway, where is figure 3 going in your paper now?

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: LabCat

Posted on April 3, 2009
Education, Language barrier, Maryland, On the phone, Sexuality, Students, Teachers, Travel, Weirdness

The One Made Of Gingerbread?

Supervisor, hanging up phone with crazy caller: She said Nancy Pelosi told her she could call in.
Secretary: Who's that?
Supervisor, stunned: The Speaker of the House?
Secretary: What house?
Supervisor: The one of ill-repute down on Marshall Street.

County Courthouse
Norristownm, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Lan

Posted on April 3, 2009
Admins, Bosses, On the phone, Pennsylvania, Questions, Sexuality, Weirdness

So They'll Sprout?

Assistant manager on phone: Now that he is out of jail maybe he'll want to soil his wild oats.

Rochester, New York

Overheard by: Jude

Posted on March 31, 2009
Crimes, Employees, New York, On the phone

Whatever You Think, You're Irreplaceable

Female cube neighbor, whispering into cell: Jeff*, I woke up this morning with a naked gay man in my bed, and it wasn't you. I'm highly disturbed. Call me immediately.

Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on March 31, 2009
Employees, Feelings, Georgia, On the phone, Sexuality, Weirdness

Is It Apathy If You Intensely Don't Care?

Customer: I don't care! I don't care that I need to talk to him! I don't care that he's unavailable! Do you hear me? I don't care.
Customer service rep, blandly: Then why have you called us today, sir, if you're so apathetic?

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: i used to be his supervisor

Posted on March 18, 2009
Anger management, Customer Service, Customer Support, Dumb Customers, Massachusetts, On the phone, Questions

On the phone