Co-worker on phone: Well, when I asked you over for lunch I asked if there was something you didn’t eat besides cheese…Well I’m just saying you should have told me you didn’t eat pork when I asked…Yes, I know you’re Jewish…Well whatever you are, you’re an idiot and a liar. You should have told me about the pork…Ew, she’s your first cousin.
622 3rd Avenue
New York, NY
Boss to client on phone: I walked her home every day for months because I thought she was blind!
1430 Massachusetts Avenue
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Coworker on phone: Hi, Sally*. How you been? Working hard, or.. (cough cough)
Voice on speaker phone: Hi–you okay?
Coworker: (cough) Yes… (cough cough)
Voice: Okay, then. Well, I took a look at the accounts…
Coworker: (cough cough cough)
Voice: And I noticed our balance…
Coworker: (cough) Or hardly working?
Voice: What?
Melville, New York
Coworker, on phone, very authoritatively: No! The green m&m is the only woman! Nooooo!
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: There's a wealth of information in my office
Male supervisor on phone to boss: Okay, I'll do the cash out today, oh and can you bring makeup tomorrow and turn me into an old woman? (pause) Great, thanks!
Olypmic Peninsula, Washington
Overheard by: great scott
Lawyer to client: I'll have to file a motion to do that.
Client: Can't you just call and do that?
Lawyer: No, I'll have to file a motion, like on paper.
Client: Yeah, can't you just do it by phone?
Lima, Ohio
Overheard by: Holy Shit I went to College for this
Coworker on phone: Hi, how are you? (pause) I'm fine, for an aging gentleman!
Manhattan, New York
Secretary on phone: I guess I don't need a tapeworm after all.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Lady worker answering phone: Hi Alex*! … I knew it was you because this is a 321* area code, and you work in Boston and it wasn’t your home number… And if it wasn’t you, then I was prepared for your boss to be calling me telling me you fell off a stool, hit your head, and wound up dead on the floor.
Indiana
Client on phone, returning from lunch: What, we have a meeting now? I’ll be there in ten minutes. Is [the boss] around?
Admin: Yeah, he’s right here.
Client: Good, go kick him in the shin for me.
Admin: Um, you’re on speakerphone.
Client: I hate you! How many times have I told you never to put me on speakerphone!?
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
