Offers and requests

Sometimes I Find Myself Accidentally Throwing Rocks at Them

Coworker #1: Hey, Shaniqua can you hand me that coffee?
Coworker #2 (very angry): My name is not Shaniqua–that's racist. Just because I'm black doesn't mean I have a name like that.
Coworker #1 (defensively): That isn't racism–it's a joke. Calling someone by a name that isn't theirs isn't racist. You shouldn't be so quick to call someone a racist.
Coworker #3 (after some consideration): I thought about what you said earlier and you're right. Besides, everyone is racist to some degree. Even myself. I find that I'm racist against fat people even though I don't mean to be.

Duluth, Georgia

Or “Feline Life Coach,” As She Prefers to Be Called

Receptionist #1: Do you mind watching the phones? I have a conference call. It’ll probably last about 30 minutes.
Receptionist #2, confused: Who do you have to call?
Receptionist #1, very seriously: My cat psychic.

5th Avenue
New York City, New York

3PM Cancer Break

Manager: We’re in Gwinnett County. You need to be 10 feet from the walkway if you want to legally smoke.
Smoker #1: Like, isn’t that unfair? What if you’re a midget? Your feet would be about half the size of mine…No, seriously. Look how big my feet are! They’re like twice the size of midget feet…Oh! You mean like a ruler!
Smoker #2: Yeah, haven’t you ever heard of the metric system?

333 Research Court
Norcross, Georgia

2PM Development Meeting

Dev: Well, what you have to do is–
QA: Wait, wait. Can you start at the beginning?
Dev: A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…
QA: …

1600 Clarkson Road
Chesterfield, Missouri

Which Means You Have to Want to

Assistant: Is this poster going to be mandatory?
Manager: We’re going to treat this as being required, but not mandatory.

227 W. Monroe Street
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Caleb Yarian

I’m More Interested in the Idea of Cheese

Customer: I would like a cheeseburger but with no cheese.
Cashier: So you want a simple hamburger?
Customer: No! A cheeseburger with no cheese!

Fast food restaurant
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: burger lover

These Guys Apologize to All Their Colleagues Every Day

Retirement aged worker #1: Hi, little buddy.
Retirement aged worker #2: I'm not your little buddy!
Retirement aged worker #1: I know you're not! You're an old goat!
Retirement aged worker #2, thrusting pelvis towards #1: If I'm a goat, then suck it and get some milk!

Naval Base
Point Mugu, California

Overheard by: bubbles

Sure, Hog the Brain Damage

Lab tech finding other scientists spraying glue: Ahhh! Free isocyanates!
Scientist: Get out of here!

Rockland, Maryland

Overheard by: Chemdork

3PM Slushie Run

Coworker#1: Okay, I’m back.
Coworker#2: Where did you go?
Coworker#3: We went to get a slushie.
Coworker#2: What? Where’s mine?
Coworker#1: You didn’t say you wanted one.
Coworker#2: Well, must my slushie needs be known to everyone? I just can’t believe you went without even asking me.
Coworker#3: How is she supposed to know if you wanted a slushie?
Coworker#2: I always ask her if she wants one when I go. I even give her money if she wants one. Oh, and look now. Now your’re drinking it in front of me.
Coworker #1: Dude! You never said you wanted one. You even saw me walk out. Do you even want one?
Coworker# 2: No, I’m fine.

19219 N 4th Street
Covington, Louisiana

Oh Mildred, Say You'll Be My Wi-Fi!

Admin to IT guy: Okay, now see if you can reach my hot spot.

Suitland, Maryland

Overheard by: censthis

© 2026 OverheardinTheOffice.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist