Female coworker, coughing: I didn't know if I got another STD or what… (pause) Would you like a cupcake? It's homemade!
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Female coworker, coughing: I didn't know if I got another STD or what… (pause) Would you like a cupcake? It's homemade!
Fredericksburg, Virginia
60-something female coworker to another: Mary, you have to read this e-mail. It's hilarious. I'll print it out and bring it over to you.
Jacksonville, Florida
Boss: You're out smoking again? I thought you were quitting?
Assistant: I start taking the Chantix tomorrow morning, smoke for a week and throw the cigarettes away and double the dose.
Boss: Okay, can I give you shit for it?
Assistant: All you want, I'll be a complete bitch and make your life hell.
Boss on intercom: Everyone, you have the next 2 months off: assistant is going to be a bigger bitch than usual.
Fountain Valley, California
Boss on cell: Is T&A an option? Uh… No, I meant “time and expense.” Is T&E an option?
New York City, New York
Overheard by: It's ALWAYS an option
Customer: Yeah, like I need to get this purchase authorized for school supplies and stuff.
CSR: Yes, sir. Can you tell me the primary cardholder’s name?
Customer: Yeah, that would be me. My name is on the card.
CSR: No sir, you are on the account. I need the primary cardholder; is he available?
Customer: No, he is in Florida or Georgia or something. Dude call my Dad, he can tell you all about it.
CSR: I need to ask you some security questions first. Do you know the primary cardholder’s date of birth?
Customer: Uh, dude, this really sucks…I can’t remember his birthday…Dude that’s pretty sad I don’t even know my father’s birthday.
CSR: OK, sir can you give me the last 4 digits of the social security number on the account for the primary cardholder.
Customer: Dude, are you kidding? I will tell you anything about me that you want to know I just want to get this stuff going, y’know?
CSR: Sir, can you hold?
Customer: Sure.
2 minutes pass.
CSR: OK sir, I have blocked the card. Please inform your father that he will need to give us a call to take the block off the card.
Customer. Dude, this fucking sucks. I have any information you need about me, why can’t you call my dad?
CSR: I am not calling your dad sir, please inform him that he will need to give us a call to have the block taken off the card.
Customer: Dude you are really starting to piss me off, dude.
CSR: Sir you can’t verify any of the security questions, and I can’t approve this transaction.
Customer: …Dude call my dad! He will give you anything you want to know.
CSR: I am not calling your dad, sir.
Customer: Dude, you have so just lost 4 accounts!
3615 Brotherton Road
Cincinnati, Ohio
Middle-aged lady to another: You sit down and I'll take you for a ride…
Edmonton
Canadia
Busboy: I’m joining the national guard next week. You get lots of tuition for only one weekend a month and two weeks a year.
Manager: Yeah, right. Pick me up a key chain from Baghdad, would you?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Coworker: What do you need, Tim?
Tim: A reliable tight end.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Worker #1: How are you feeling? Coming down with anything?
Worker #2: No, but it seems like everyone else is.
Worker #1: If you get sick, I’m a doctor so I can take care of you.
I’ve got a BS, a CS and a DD. That’s a degree in Back Stabbing, Cork-Screwing, and Double-Dealing
2320 West Highway 76
Branson, Missouri
Girl #1: Ummm, we need to make copies, and we don’t want to spend a lot of money.
Student worker: The copier over there is 10 cents, same as everywhere on campus.
Girl #1: That’s so expensive!
Student worker: You could also scan the papers and print them out. That’s free.
Girl #1: What do you mean?
Student worker: Ummm, you can put them on the scanner, hit ‘Scan,’ and then when they pop up, hit ‘Print.’
Girl #1: I don’t know about this whole scanning thing — it sounds really complicated.
Girl #2: But that sounds better than making copies. I mean, we only need 12, and I don’t want to spend 12 dollars.
Campus library, Bemidji State University
Bemidji, Minnesota
