Gate attendant on intercom: We'll be serving dinner on board. You don't have to pay, you just have to eat it. A lovely breakfast will be served in the morning, and then the landing will be lovely because everything in England is lovely.
JFK Airport
New York
Overheard by: ollie
Boss: What's the hourly rate for Becky? (pause) I want to know her hourly rate. How much per hour?
Lexington, Kentucky
Overheard by: Brian
Cashier: You have $3.99 in late fees for No Country for Old Men. Would you like to pay that today?
Customer: I didn’t rent that.
Cashier: You handed it to me when you walked in, sir.
Hollywood Video
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Jen
CSR to another: I am so tired today… I couldn't sleep last night. First I was waiting to check the Powerball numbers, and then found out I didn't win and have to go back to work today. I was so mad I couldn't fall asleep!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: unleaded
Assistant: I submitted this check request a month ago, can you tell me why it hasn’t been paid yet?
Accountant: Oh, you wanted it paid?
40 W. 20th Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Faith Black
Boss on phone: Hey, uh, I booked a vacation with you guys and pre-paid and everything, and uh, well, (pause) I don't really know how to say this, but uh, I did some things… You know, uh-uh-uh, things you do when you are on vacation, uh-uh-uh-uh-uh… and… uh, well I overslept and missed my flight back home, so I had to buy another airline ticket and want to know if I can get some of my money back.
Richmond, Virginia
Coworker #1: I am going to come in on Monday and tell [Dave] to shove it.
Coworker #2: Do I even want to know why?
Coworker #1: I’m going to win the lottery this weekend. Fifty-six million dollars!
Coworker #2: If I win the lottery, I will go around running into every person in Houston who has ever cut me off! And those that come out of the parking lot right when the light turns green and then cross all three lanes in front of everyone, I’m just gonna floor it…
Coworker #1: Uh, I was just talking about not having to work for a while.
2875 Antoine
Houston, Texas
Office mate #1 (asking for money for lunch): Are you trying to break me already?
Office mate #2: I would love to break you.
Washington, DC
Businessman: I painted her bedroom. She picked this ugly red color.
Businesslady: You know, you could hire someone for like $100 to do
that.
Businessman: It’s one little bedroom. It’s not like I’m handicapped.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Sales guy #1: Wanna go across the street to the deli for lunch? I hear they make a mean BLT.
Sales guy #2: They're expensive.
Sales guy #1: Dude… I'm so frekkin rich I wipe my ass with dollar bills.
Seattle, Washington
