Waitress: I don’t want any sauce touching me… Unless it’s being licked off of me.
1027 West Horsetooth Road
Fort Collins, Colorado
Waitress: I don’t want any sauce touching me… Unless it’s being licked off of me.
1027 West Horsetooth Road
Fort Collins, Colorado
Guy: I really like cigars.
Girl: Really? Ew!
Guy: I used to smoke them all time.
Girl: Gross!
Guy: I haven't had one in a long time, but they were delicious.
Girl: I just think they seem so disgusting.
Male coworker, catching the tail end of the conversation: Hey, are you guys talking about the McRib?
Camden County, New Jersey
Coworker #1: Let me tell you my big cannoli story! (coworker #2 giggles) No, it's not dirty.
Government Office
Washington, DC
IT #1: She’s a nut.
IT #2: Most people are.
IT #1: What kinda nut do you think we are?
IT #2: Cashews because we’re unique and expensive.
IT #1: I guess we could be macadamians.
IT #2: Those are fatty.
30830 Northwestern Highway
Farmington Hills, Michigan
Coworker #1: Hey, dude, can you cover the office this evening? I have the runs.
Coworker #2: No, I think my daughter wants me to pick her up.
Coworker #1: Dang, man, I guess I'll just eat some cheese.
Mayport, Florida
Overheard by: Bluevain Thunder
Employee: Can I help you?
Customer: Hi. Yes, may I have a turkey artichoke panini?
Employee: No.
Customer: No?
Employee: No. We don’t have those.
Customer: But it’s right there on your board. Do you mean you ran out of them today?
Employee: Yeah, that’s what I said. Order the other turkey sandwich, it’s exactly the same.
Customer: Actually I think I’ll just have a salad.
Employee: I’ll be right back. [Goes in back room.]Employee: Did you hear what I just said back there?
Customer: Ummm… No.
Employee: Good. I mean, cause it wasn’t about you.
Customer: Ok…
Panera Bread Co.
Tysons Corner, Virginia
Office girl during lunch: I just want to move the nuts and eat the goo…
Lubbock, Texas
Library clerk to hobo taking food out of food drive box: Hey, you can't just take that!
Hobo: Yo, I'm just cutting out the middleman, brother.
Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Coworker: King Tut's tomb didn't make you sick, moron, it was eating all the testicles!
Dayton, Ohio
Editor #1: Every time I see a picture of a Krispy Kreme doughnut, I drool a little. Even though I don't really want one.
Editor #2: I'm that way with cocaine.
Indianapolis, Indiana
