Coworker #1: Yeah, I have syringes at home. Don’t you?
Coworker #2: No. Why? Does someone in your house have diabetes?
Coworker #1: No. Is this weird? Hold on, let me call my brother.
(a few minutes later.)
Coworker #1: Oh, well. They’re not syringes. They’re teeth whiteners.
West Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Julianna
Co-worker #1: Remember [Joann] at [Segal]?
Co-worker #2: The one that looks like a man?
Co-worker #1: Yep. Well, she’s found that sperm donor she’s been looking for.
721 Emerson Road
St. Louis, Missouri
Director of nursing: Getting it once a week is better than not getting it at all, which is what I was getting.
Maintenance guy: What?
Director of nursing: I need my office vacuumed more often!
Greenwood, South Carolina
Overheard by: Dana
Employee: Welcome back. Are you feeling better?
Supervisor: Well, I am fully clothed.
1930 Bishop Lane
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Eve’s Dropper
Fellow cube dweller (after violently blowing nose and looking into tissue): I don’t understand how when you’re sick, you just never run out of boogers.
Rosedale Towers
Roseville, Minnesota
Overheard by: booger-free
Project Manager: I’m working on Chronic Constipation and should be done with it later today. How is Ulcerative Colitis coming along?
Multimedia Developer: Good. Should have it for you tomorrow for review. What’s up with Vaginal Discharge?
3339 Ward Street
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Saleswoman to another, returning from restroom: Damn, that Indian food really does clean you out!
Friend: Yeah, its like Roto-Rooter!
Saks Fifth Ave
Overheard by: agreed
Female co-worker on phone: I know his grandmother died yesterday and his other grandmother has a week to live, but is that really an excuse to get out of a wedding with me this weekend? Am I being selfish here?
Clifton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Grandma's Boy
Corporate suit: Hi, is my attorney here?
Young receptionist: No, sir, she's on maternity leave.
Corporate suit: Maternity leave? Did she have a baby?
Young receptionist: Yes, sir, she did.
Young receptionist to paralegal: Doesn't “maternity leave” mean you have a baby?
Law Office
Kansas City, Missouri
Lab tech #1: So I’ve been going to the hospital in the mornings.
Lab tech #2: Oh, are you ok?
Lab tech #1: Oh no, I’ve been going to watch surgeries. It’s a really great way to start off the day.
Harvard
Boston Massachusetts
Overheard by: Interesting Morning
