Emergency operator #1: Hello? Hello? (hangs up phone) Whoops!
Emergency operator #2: Uh oh, what happened?
Emergency operator #1: Oh, some lady wanting to donate adult diapers just hung up on me.
Emergency operator #2: Weird, was she mad cuz we don't take donations?
Emergency operator #1: Nah, I think it was the calling her “sir” that did it.
Red Cross Call Center
San Diego, California
Boss: Never put two cranky diabetics in the same room together. All you’ll get is ‘”fuck this,” “shit this,” and “blood sugar that!”
1200 Sovereign Row
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: shaun
Boss: Don't forget to include an STD with that mailing.
Temp: STD?
Boss: “Save The Date” card.
Temp: Oh! I thought you meant “Sexually Transmitted Disease.”
Boss: What kind of magazines do you read, anyway?
Providence, Rhode Island
Girl: My mom dropped a plate and it shattered all over the floor and she cut her foot pretty bad. I was cleaning up the pieces…
Guy: Was it a paper plate?
(girl stares at him)
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: And he's not even blonde…
Male manager: You weren't in another accident, were you?
Female cube dweller: No. I pooped.
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Cube Dweller
Female coworker #1: What does buttermilk taste like?
Female coworker #2: I like buttermilk!
Female coworker #1: Does it give you the shits?
Piscataway, New Jersey
Overheard by: Tom
Woman to boss: So then my friend's brother had to “poop out” the pinworm.
Washington, DC
Male employee, leaving bathroom: Be careful in there. I just gave birth to a little brown man!
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Gagging Uncontrollably
Interviewer, during phone interview: Do you have any experience with suppository management?
Cupertino, California
Male coworker, after giving himself makeshift manicure using staple remover: So I guess I'm not too good at that.
Female manager: Are you bleeding? Well, suck on it before you get an infection… and stop touching yourself!
Male coworker, whimpering: Aaaww…
Female manager: Gross!
San Diego, California
Overheard by: that's why you pay people to do that…
