Clerk on phone: Hey, you got any duct tape? You can just cut off a little piece and put that on your wart.
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Db's Mom
Clerk on phone: Hey, you got any duct tape? You can just cut off a little piece and put that on your wart.
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Db's Mom
Coworker, to overly bright and happy coworker at 8 am: You need a root canal.
Dalton, Georgia
Guy at urinal: Hi, Jim. Bad result over the weekend, wasn't it?
Jim: Yes, shame really.
Guy at urinal: Yeah.
(pause)
Jim: These tablets the doctor has me on really have improved my flow. It feels so good now.
Guy at urinal: Ummm? That's nice.
Exeter
Devon
England
Overheard by: Minding my own business
Woman #1, in line to get coffee: Do you smell dog? I smell dog. Like, a wet dog or something.
Woman #2: Oh, it's probably my pants. My dog slept on them last night and I didn't have a clean pair, so I wore them.
Woman #1: Yeah. It looks like you have some dog hair on them too.
Woman #2: It will probably just brush off by the end of the day. (walks away nonchalantly with coffee in hand)
Downtown Omaha, Nebraska
Coworker #1: Will you come over and put a cold compress on my head?
Coworker #2: Sure, what do you want me to wear?
355 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: BiPolar
Boss: It’s like birth — there’s nothing we can do but push.
Sunnyvale, California
Overheard by: Tristan O’Tierney
Coworker on phone: Didn't you hear? The pole broke and the stripper hurt herself!
Sterling, Virginia
Overheard by: Receptionist
Co-worker: Ugh…
Manager: What’s the matter?
Co-worker: Nothing, I just couldn’t see the screen.
Manager: Oh. Was everything flesh colored and blurry? That’s from putting your hand in front of your face.
1390 Timberlake Manor Parkway
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Durp
Boss: Oh good morning, would you like some coffee?
Building Manager: Oh, I don’t think so.
Boss: Oh, have some.
Building Manager: No, thanks. It’ll just make me perspire. I had a cup and a half before I left for work this morning and my makeup slid right off my face.
3040 M Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Chris
CSR #1: I don't think I can carpool with Meg* anymore.
CSR #2: Why?
CSR #1: Well, Meg* either doesn't know how to wipe her ass properly or she decides to let a ripper go right before I get in her car. Either way, it's just too much to deal with.
Manitoba
Canadia
Overheard by: Wooderson
