Meeting chairperson: Alright, that’s about all for this Monday’s meeting. Now, is anyone going to be away on vacation at all this week?
Suit #1: I’ll be taking next Monday off. We’re heading up to the cottage for the weekend.
Suit #2: Umm, I will be sick on Friday so I won’t be in.
Meadowvale Business Park
Mississauga, Ontario
Canadia
Employee: Bridget's out on maternity leave again? That woman is fertile!
Boss: Yeah, I know where to come if I want to have more kids.
Bellevue, Washington
Crazed, frazzled receptionist, yelling: A little Vicodin goes a long way!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: EMCEE
85-year-old client: I’ve been sick all morning but I’ll tell you what: the best way to cure diarrhea is by drinking wine!
Sales manager on phone: Oh… Um… Really?
Hotel
Dulles, Virginia
Overheard by: Rather Disgusted
Staffer: Oh, great! The water bottles are in!
Executive, opening bottle and sniffing it: It smells like cancer.
38th Street and 8th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Sarah
Coworker #1, dropping summer sausage for lunch: Hey, you want some of my sausage?
Coworker #2: Only if you wash it off first.
Bourbonnais, Illinois
Overheard by: the closet is my office
Cube dweller: Just like men can get breast cancer, women can get prostate cancer. My gynecologist screens all his patients for it.
North Carolina
Overheard by: Not too worried about it
Nurse #1: And I don’t know. I just started having this anxiety attack.
Nurse #2: Well, on the bright side, I just made a Klan hood for my finger.
Royal Oak, Michigan
Potential new hire: Hi, I'm Julie.
Existing employee Nice to meet you. Congratulations.
Potential new hire: Thanks. I hope it works out.
Existing employee: Okay then. Get well soon.
Charlestown, Massachusetts
Cubicle worker with a cold: I've been sucking on Fisherman's Friends all day and it's not helping.
Sedro-Woolley, Washington
