Producer #1: Ever since I started taking this new pill I cry when I see commercials for fucking Sunset Tan!
Producer #2: Oh, I don't need the pill to cry at commercials like that!
Beverly Hills, California
Producer #1: Ever since I started taking this new pill I cry when I see commercials for fucking Sunset Tan!
Producer #2: Oh, I don't need the pill to cry at commercials like that!
Beverly Hills, California
Guy: I have to go see my mom, she just had her hip replaced.
Intern: Where is “hipper place”?
New York City, New York
Overheard by: JDS
Coworker helping boss: If I was Jesus, you'd be washing your hands right now.
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Time
Elderly man, yelling at pharmacist: What the hell do I need a 90-day supply for? How do I know I'm going to live for another 90 days? Change this to a 30-day supply. If I need more, I'll come back!
CVS Pharmacy
Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Serious receptionist: Just because she has a tattoo doesn't mean she's an alcoholic!
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Are you for real?
Urologist: Can we do a time-out, please?
Nurse: Mr. Henderson* is here for a cystoscopy. You've seen this patient before.
Urologist: I've never heard of him. (uncovers the field) Hmmmm. I don't remember the patient's name, but I have seen this penis before.
Hospital, Virginia
Overheard by: CJ Wiretap
Woman #1: I'm so excited about the new mother/meditation room. I can totally pretend to be meditating.
Woman #2: I can totally pretend to be lactating!
Evanston, Illinois
Receptionist: I have Ms Jones* on the phone, she still has pain and wants to know if you will refill her Endocet prescription.
Doctor: No. She can have Vicodin.
Receptionist: She's allergic to Vicodin.
Doctor: Then she has to go to the hospital.
Receptionist (after speaking on telephone again): She asks if these are her only options: take medication she's allergic to or go to the hospital?
Doctor: Tell her I'm not here.
Kinnelon, New Jersey
Overheard by: Veronica at http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/
(male admin yawns)
Female admin: Nap time?
Male admin: I never sleep.
Female admin: You never sleep? What, do you put toothpicks in your eyes to keep them open?
Male admin: I'm going to write that down, that's a good idea.
Female admin: At least you choose to stay awake, rather than your husband waking you up by coming home at 1:30 in the morning.
Male admin: At least he didn't pee in the bed.
New York City, New York
Boss to secretary: You know what I still have?
Secretary: Herpes.
Boss: Uh, err, get back to work!
Mullica Hill Road
Glassboro, New Jersey
