Coworker #1: Ouch!
Coworker #2: What happened?
Coworker #1: I'm bleeding–I hit my elbow on my desk and knocked a scab off.
Coworker #2: Ooooh, can I have it?
Everybody: Cheryl*!
Coworker #2: I can't help it! I just love scabs!
Regional Medical Center
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Yes, she's real
Sales exec: I've seen things in the women's bathroom that I never want to see again in my life. And I've seen them more than once.
St Louis, Missouri
Very old man: Dammit, I forgot to take my medication.
Adult son: So take it now.
Very old man: I'm supposed to take it right after meals.
Adult son: But you just finished your meal.
Very old man: I know, so I'm going to take it now.
Adult son: So you didn't forget.
Very old man: Yeah, but if I didn't remember, I would have forgotten it.
Long Beach Diner
Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Producer #1: Ever since I started taking this new pill I cry when I see commercials for fucking Sunset Tan!
Producer #2: Oh, I don't need the pill to cry at commercials like that!
Beverly Hills, California
Guy: I have to go see my mom, she just had her hip replaced.
Intern: Where is “hipper place”?
New York City, New York
Overheard by: JDS
Coworker helping boss: If I was Jesus, you'd be washing your hands right now.
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Time
Elderly man, yelling at pharmacist: What the hell do I need a 90-day supply for? How do I know I'm going to live for another 90 days? Change this to a 30-day supply. If I need more, I'll come back!
CVS Pharmacy
Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Serious receptionist: Just because she has a tattoo doesn't mean she's an alcoholic!
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Are you for real?
Urologist: Can we do a time-out, please?
Nurse: Mr. Henderson* is here for a cystoscopy. You've seen this patient before.
Urologist: I've never heard of him. (uncovers the field) Hmmmm. I don't remember the patient's name, but I have seen this penis before.
Hospital, Virginia
Overheard by: CJ Wiretap
Woman #1: I'm so excited about the new mother/meditation room. I can totally pretend to be meditating.
Woman #2: I can totally pretend to be lactating!
Evanston, Illinois
