Executive: So I ended up with the meth head’s blood all over my face.
8081 Wallace Road
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Executive: So I ended up with the meth head’s blood all over my face.
8081 Wallace Road
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Partner: Tell me something. Does anyone around here care about me at all? I mean if I were to drop dead right here and now in the middle of the floor would just leave me lying there or at least push me into a dark corner?
Receptionist: I’m sure I could manage a little bit better than that.
Partner: Well, thank you. At least someone cares.
1218 Webster Street
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Office Slave
Crew chief on phone: Hello?…No, I can’t talk right now, my truck is on fire….Okay, I’ll call you back. My truck is on fire….Okay, I’ll deal with this tonight. My truck is on fire….Okay my truck is on fire, I can’t really talk right now….Okay, my truck is literally on fire beneath me, I’ll call you back.
303 Second Street West
Brooks, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Shane Parker
Student on phone: Sir, as a current student at XYZ College*, I know I can talk to you about all the improvements that we’ve made since you attended…. Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. No… No, I didn’t realize you hated XYZ. I will be sure to tell him that… Repeat after you? Sir, please… I promise I’ll tell him… Okay, sir, I’ll tell him that you said that everyone at this school can fuck themselves and suck your 70-year-old balls… Thank you. You have a good night, too, sir.
515 Loudon Road
Loudonville, New York
Overheard by: trying not to laugh while on the phone
Drug rep: All the regulations in this industry just keep getting more strict all the time. I set up a meeting the other day with one of our medical reps and a doctor I know and I couldn't say a word the entire time except to introduce them. I was like a mouse on the floor.
Admin (laughing hysterically): Do you mean “a fly on the wall”?
Drug rep (embarrassed): Give me a break. It's Friday morning and I'm wearing a suit for a meeting that was canceled and nobody told me. I'm going home!
Arlington, Texas
Overheard by: Genyis
Coworker #1: She was such a bitch to me for no reason! I think I’m beginning to hate people.
Coworker #2: You used to like people before working here? That’s so freakin’ cute!
430 W Vine Street
Lexington, Kentucky
Overheard by: I Heart Condescension
Female peon #1, in reference to cute co-worker: So, what happened with that guy you gave your number to?
Female peon #2: Oh, girl, I didn’t tell you?!
Female peon #1: No, what happened?
Female peon #2: Listen to this… he never called me, right? And I really wanted to know what was up with that. So, I walked over to him the other day and said, “Hi, how’s it going?” Well, we got to talking, and he said he was sorry he never called, but that he isn’t looking for a relationship right now… because he’s trying to concentrate on his relationship with Jesus Christ!
[Female peon #1 and eavesdropping co-workers break into laughter.]Female peon #2: Can you believe that? I was rejected for Jesus!
Melbourne, Florida
Overheard by: Kitty
Producer: Rarely does a day go by where my underwear is less than 10 years old.
11 Penn Plaza
New York, NY
Overheard by: D to the C
CSR: I can’t understand her. She’s confusing me…She’s talking all smart and stuff.
3320 West Cheryl Drive
Phoenix, Arizona
