GRE taker #1: That math section sure was hard.
GRE taker #2: Yeah, I was real confused with the angle-side-angle calculations.
GRE taker #1: I thought it was tough, too, but thankfully I took astrology last semester.
Fayetteville State University
Fayetteville, North Carolina
Bookseller: I cleaned up all the damn puppets. All of them! Then, watched as a father allowed his children to throw all of them on the floor, play for an hour, then leave them. He grinned at me, said ‘Kids, right?’, then left. It took all I had not to tear that grin off his face, and shove it so far up his fucking ass that I could then reattach it backwards…Wow, four hours really is too long to go without a cigarette!
Cashier: That was the best image I’ve had all day. Go smoke so that I can savor it alone.
430 W Vine Street
Lexington, Kentucky
Overheard by: Laughing coworker
Exasperated office girl: Nobody ever tells me anything that I can understand!
Alpharetta, Georgia
Girl: It said my cookies aren’t turned on? What am I supposed to do, pour some milk on myself and show them my tits?
234 West 42nd Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Lauren Hopkins
Executive: So I ended up with the meth head’s blood all over my face.
8081 Wallace Road
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Partner: Tell me something. Does anyone around here care about me at all? I mean if I were to drop dead right here and now in the middle of the floor would just leave me lying there or at least push me into a dark corner?
Receptionist: I’m sure I could manage a little bit better than that.
Partner: Well, thank you. At least someone cares.
1218 Webster Street
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Office Slave
Crew chief on phone: Hello?…No, I can’t talk right now, my truck is on fire….Okay, I’ll call you back. My truck is on fire….Okay, I’ll deal with this tonight. My truck is on fire….Okay my truck is on fire, I can’t really talk right now….Okay, my truck is literally on fire beneath me, I’ll call you back.
303 Second Street West
Brooks, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Shane Parker
Student on phone: Sir, as a current student at XYZ College*, I know I can talk to you about all the improvements that we’ve made since you attended…. Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. No… No, I didn’t realize you hated XYZ. I will be sure to tell him that… Repeat after you? Sir, please… I promise I’ll tell him… Okay, sir, I’ll tell him that you said that everyone at this school can fuck themselves and suck your 70-year-old balls… Thank you. You have a good night, too, sir.
515 Loudon Road
Loudonville, New York
Overheard by: trying not to laugh while on the phone
Drug rep: All the regulations in this industry just keep getting more strict all the time. I set up a meeting the other day with one of our medical reps and a doctor I know and I couldn't say a word the entire time except to introduce them. I was like a mouse on the floor.
Admin (laughing hysterically): Do you mean “a fly on the wall”?
Drug rep (embarrassed): Give me a break. It's Friday morning and I'm wearing a suit for a meeting that was canceled and nobody told me. I'm going home!
Arlington, Texas
Overheard by: Genyis
