Sales Rep #1: I’m afraid we’re going to lose a lot of customers this season.
Sales Rep #2: Huh. My biggest fear is ending up on Oprah’s couch and having her say mean things to me.
21250 Hawthorne Boulevard
Torrance, California
Sales Rep #1: I’m afraid we’re going to lose a lot of customers this season.
Sales Rep #2: Huh. My biggest fear is ending up on Oprah’s couch and having her say mean things to me.
21250 Hawthorne Boulevard
Torrance, California
Employee #1: So have you heard from [Amanda] since she quit?
Employee #2: No. I called her twice but never heard back from her.
Employee #1: That’s because she’s probably bitter.
Employee #3: You’ve tasted her?
138 Greenwood Avenue
Bethel, Connecticut
Overheard by: Dawn Saunders
Employee #1: If you want to send me your resume, I’ll see if they’re looking to hire designers. I think they are.
Employee #2: Does the place resemble Hell?
Employee #1: You mean like here?
Employee #2: Yeah. Like, if it’s a few shades lighter red, and about half the amount of writhing souls, I’d be interested.
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: cube prisoner
Boss man: We need a lawyer to handle this. If it were 5 years ago, I’d call my brother. He was the one of the best lawyers in the country, but he can’t help me anymore because he’s been disbarred.
Midtown
New York, New York
Lady Executive: I don’t even want to hear from you, Stewart. You know you fucked me on that paper deal. You fucked me hard and you didn’t even kiss me.
2233 King Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Next Big Thing
Employee: I didn’t ask to be employee of the month — the mantle was thrust upon me!
Housewares store
New York, New York
Overheard by: Tigertail
Short fat woman, entering elevator: Hi, Gary, how are you this morning?
Gary, sighing: Oh, I'm okay. And you?
Short, fat woman: Well… I just started jazzercise on Mondays, and it's kicking my ass!
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: the elevator
Woman: I hate working here. It makes me want to throw my morals out the window, and become a slut.
Co-worker: A slut…There’s an image for you.
Woman: I don’t mean I want to be a slut. I just want to know what all these people are like in bed. No one small, of course.
Co-worker: So you’ll be handing out a questionnaire?
56 59 Junction
Baldwin City, Kansas
Manager: Ok. Since it seems like [Dougie] doesn’t want to be a part of the team and show up for meetings, [Steve], from now on, when you send out meeting requests, make sure the invitation is sent to him personally.
[Steve]: So basically, I should click a few more times to enable this otherwise unacceptable behavior?Manager: Right.
[Steve]: Got it.214 West 39th Street
New York, New York
Employee: No one saw who took my chair? I hope I have crabs.
345 Broadway
New York City
