Gripes

Female coworker: I woke up today and couldn’t find my panties.
Male coworker: So, did you find them finally?
Female coworker: No. And my husband disappeared…

Law office
New York, New York

Overheard by: julllully

Worker #1: Boy, you look tired…
Project Manager: Yeah, it’s been hectic. I need some of that geico balboa stuff.
Worker #1: Uh, ginko bilboa?
Project Manager: That’s what I said.
Worker #1: No, you said “geico balboa”.
Project Manager: What’s the difference?
Worker #1: Well, Geico is an insurance company, and Balboa is Rocky the boxer’s–as in the movie–last name.
Project Manager: Ha! I wonder if he gets a hard time for that.
Worker #1: He’s not a real person. Besides, I think what you meant was you needed some ginseng. Do you know what ginko bilboa is for?
Worker #2: Okay, seriously, how long is this meeting going to be?

6700 Hollister Road
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Damien Sebastiani

Attorney: I heard [the client] was whiny.
Client in waiting room: I’m whiny because I’m sick and this is the first time I’ve left the house.
Attorney: Oh shit.

110 N. Washington Street
Rockville, Maryland

Overheard by: Joan

Co-worker: Does the whole building smell like urine? Or is it just my cube?

1601 Chestnut Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Male employee: And the worst thing is that we’re not allowed to do anything to stop another attack. No profiling so we don’t offend someone’s religion. To hell with that!

Piedmont, South Carolina

Overheard by: Ape

Tax preparer, tasting the coffee: This tastes like diluted water!

Lancaster, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: wondering how you dilute water…

Clerk #1: My nephew is getting married, and his mother is not happy.
Clerk #2: Why’s that?
Clerk #1: Well she is Mexican, Italian or maybe from India. I don’t know. They just don’t like her. He’s really intelligent, but they’re worried about him quitting college now.

1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: unbelievable

Project Manager: I can only imagine what has been coming in my box…My email box.

1137 North 26th Street
Sheboygan, Wisconsion

Overheard by: Chris O’Brien

Account manager: So I sent you that new job applicant. Have fun.
Recruiter: I just opened it up. Wow, she completely misspelled ‘Delaware State.’
Account manager: Oh, it gets worse.
Recruiter: ‘Seven years,’ with an ‘-s!’ And she spelled ‘with’ wrong!
Account manager: Yep, and she’s a detail-oriented professional.

Trolley Square
Wilmington, Delaware

Overheard by: Rhymes with Banana

Worker #1: Wow, that was a tough job.
Worker #2: Yeah, they should give us something.
Worker #1: Like a basket?
Worker #2: Yeah, a basket of rifles!

2455 Faber Place
Palo Alto, California

Overheard by: for meltnbean