Office drone #1: Where is the Pentagon?
Office drone #2: It is in Washington, DC…
Office drone #1: Oh! Isn’t it that big hexagon shaped building?
Office manager: [Walking away] Oh Jesus fucking Christ…
Washington Avenue
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: brian brinegar
Receptionist, staring at a door: This door confuses me.
Main Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Emily
Very serious ditzy receptionist: On project runway last night, I picked the winner and loser of the challenge and the order everyone was going to be called out before Heidi even called them.
Receptionist friend: You rock.
Very serious ditzy receptionist: I know. [pauses] But that doesn’t mean I’m made of stone.
Columbus, Ohio
Young guy in office to crowd: Yeah, I spent all of last summer visiting Holland.
Only girl in office: Really? Oh my god, how was the fourth of July over there?
Guy and office: [silence].
18th Street
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Quiet Chuckler
Female staff: Oh man, I’m so into “America’s Next Top Model.” You know that show.
Male staff: Oh yes. Good quality programming.
Female staff: They were having this marathon on VH1 this weekend, like the whole last season all at once. I got so hooked. But I missed the last two or three episodes, so I don’t know who won it.
Male staff: That’s awful. You really don’t know? That was last season.
Female staff: No, I didn’t see the last few episodes.
Male staff: You mean to tell me that you don’t know who won last season’s “America’s Next Top Model”?
Female staff: I didn’t see the last episode?
Male staff: But you don’t recognize her from all of the glamorous advertisements and runway shows she’s been doing?
Female staff: Well, no, I… Oh. You’re being sarcastic.
Male staff: For minutes now.
10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Nurse, screening for life insurance: So tell me about your siblings…
Male worker: Well, I have 3 sisters, two older and one who’s a twin. I’m the youngest by two minutes.
Nurse: Oh, really? You have a twin sister? Are you identical?
Male worker: Are you serious? You’re a professional nurse and you’re asking me if I’m identical to my twin sister? Is this screening over because I’ve got work to do.
Tacoma, Washington
Overheard by: Stan Green
Coworker #1: So, did you hear that Keith Richards said the N-word in his comedy bit the other day?
Coworker #2: That’s a shame. I thought he was from England.
Missoula, Montana
Overheard by: Ray
Coworker #1: That’s why people leave places like Iowa and Ohio.
Coworker #2: Uh, why?
Coworker #1: Because they want to act out their tendencies toward promiscuity!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Not from…those places
Finance director: Is Halloween on the 28th this year?
E 9th & Lyon Street
Des Moines, Iowa
Overheard by: Receptionist
Coworker #1: How do you spell ‘Awww’? [Sounds it out] Awwwwwww… O-W?
Coworker #2: A-H.
Coworker #3: No, A-W-W-W.
Coworker #1: A-W-A-W?
Coworker #2: I think it’s A-H.
Coworker #3: No. A-W-W-W.
Atlanta, Georgia
