Maintenance tech #1: Animal Control is on the way to remove the dead skunk carcass. I’ll let you know when they get here.
Maintenance tech #2: Uh, go ahead and call them back and tell them not to come. We checked it out and it’s a used banana peel.
Maintenance tech #1: Ten-four.
6400 Legacy Drive
Plano, Texas
Overheard by: Shaking Head
Employee #1: So how do we go about naming our aircraft?
Employee #2: Well, the Reserve has a plane named The Spirit of Ronald Reagan.
Employee #1: Who is that named after?
Boss: It’s named after the airport, I think.
The Pentagon
Arlington, Virginia
Project manager: Because of their dependencies, these two projects should be run in parallel.
CEO: Yeah, we need to paralyze them. Good idea, Ted*!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Lila
Receptionist: Thank you for calling Widgets Inc.* How may I help you?
Customer: I got a letter from my insurance company telling me to fill out a paper with my social security number on it and send it to you. Who are you?
Receptionist: We work with the government to help you with your appeal.
Customer: Oh. So you won’t be selling my social security number to anybody in Nigeria?
Receptionist: No, sir, not today.
50 Square Drive
Rochester, New York
Overheard by: We’ll sell it tomorrow
Customer: They’re three for $0.99.
Cashier: We don’t sell them at that price. They’re $0.33 each.
Big Lots Store #1906, 498 South Boulder Highway
Henderson, Nevada
Overheard by: Lee Hall
Client: Why do I have financial charges? It was a plan for "same as cash" for eighteen months.
CSR: Well, sir, we sent you eighteen months of statements telling you that if you don’t pay by the due date, you’ll have financial charges to pay and exactly how much they would be.
Client: You expected me to read my mail?
Citibank
Toronto, Canada
Overheard by: Citi Slicker
Mother: What are you going to have?
Daughter: Chicken nuggets and a Dr Pepper.
Mother: I’m not getting you a Dr Pepper. It’s not good for you.
Daughter: Fine. I’ll have a Coke.
Mother: That’s better.
McDonald’s
Tennessee
Girl #1: It’s like that kid that was kidnapped for all those years, and then they found him and he was back with his family… but then he died a few years later in a boatorcycle accident.
Girl #2: A boatorcycle accident?
Girl #1: I meant motorcycle.
Girl #2: Yeah, I was gonna say… if he was boatorcycling it would have been his own fault. I mean, he shouldn’t have been boatorcycling.
Girl #1: I know!
4310 Sherwoodtowne Boulevard
Mississauga, Ontario, Canada
Sales chick, holding sales order: How big is this part? Can it go UPS or does it need a skid?
Warehouse guy: Oh, no, that one is real small. It could fit up my nose.
Sales chick: Um… OK, moving on… They asked for this part a week ago, so I’m going to have it ship today instead of with their large order. Thanks!
Warehouse guy, sticking finger up his nose: Are you sure you don’t want to see how big it is?
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Blond barmaid: What’s in a whiskey and coke?
Pesto Café
Fayetteville, Arkansas
Overheard by: retired from the service industry
