Customer: Does this come in black?
Store clerk: Yes. [walks off]
Department store, Rockville Pike
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Doctor Whom
Customer: Does this come in black?
Store clerk: Yes. [walks off]
Department store, Rockville Pike
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Doctor Whom
Employee #1: Well, we already live together.
Employee #2: Oooh, living in sin!
Employee #3: Jesus won’t be happy with you.
Employee #1: Well, I’m Jewish, so Jesus already isn’t too happy with me.
Employee #3: That’s true.
Employee #1: I think when I get married under a chuppah, he might get upset!
Employee #2: Jesus was Jewish, though.
Employee #3: Jesus was also a carpenter.
1500 Broadway
New York, New York
Twentysomething new hire: Why is there a Harry Potter picture in our lobby?
Fortysomething manager: Actually that’s a painting of John Lennon.
Silicon Valley, California
Overheard by: Pop Culturally Literate
Stylist on phone: Oh, I gave you the wrong phone number…. So is that like a fact-smile? A fact-smile. It says here the fact-smile number is 312-555-1234*.
South Loop
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: waiting for a haircut
Assistant: Let me see if she’s available… Missy, do you want to talk to a Janie* at US, Inc.*?
Missy: She’s a dumbass… Yeah, I want to talk to her.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Ditz: I’d really like to pursue my acting and singing career. I think I’m really good at that.
Dad: [Nods]Ditz: But if that doesn’t work out I could always be a marine biologist. But you know? I’d really rather keep working at Target. It smells sooo good.
TGI Friday’s
Frederick, Maryland
Customer: That’s a pretty name. Different.
Cashier: Yeah, you don’t see it much up here. It’s Mexican.
Customer: Don’t you mean it’s Spanish?
Cashier: No, it’s Mexican in origin.
Customer: Racist.
Sprague and Sullivan
Spokane, Washington
Overheard by: It’s this whole other country
Underling: What do you want me to do today?
Superboss: That’s a good question. I can talk about that whenever you’re ready.
4000 Shoreline Court
San Francisco, California
Speaker on fax machine: Listen, you freakin’ idiot, this is the third time in five minutes you’re tryin’ to fax something to a phone number.
Employee in adjacent cubicle, two minutes later: Yeah, hi, this is the freakin’ idiot… [loud squelching]… shit, now I dialed their fax number.
Georgesville Road
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: laughing in next cubicle
Techie guy #1: You know how my friends Jason and Mike rode their bikes to Mexico and then to Costa Rica to play poker?
Techie guy #2: Yeah.
Techie guy #1: Well, Mike’s living with this girl he met in Mexico.
Techie guy #2: Is that safe?
11000 Regency Parkway
Cary, North Carolina
