It’s Not Uncommon for an Entire Office to Be Staffed With Drama Queens

Sales girl: Oh my god… David* is back there cleaning his office and the smell is making my head hurt.
Office manager: What’s he cleaning it with?
Sales girl: The same Fantastic crap under the sink that we all use. I’ve used it on my own desk and never been so overwhelmed by the fumes. Don’t go back there.
Office manager: Why is he cleaning it himself anyway?
Sales girl: I don’t know. (pause) He must be bathing in it. Seriously, I had to get up and walk away.
Office manager: Just close his door.
Sales girl, appalled: I can’t do that! The fumes would kill him! It would be fatal!
Office manager, grabbing her arm: Close the door. Close. The. Door.

England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Posted on July 14, 2015
Advice, Default, Employees, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, North Carolina, Offers and requests, Sales, Sensory Experiences

The Financial Sector Is Anarchy These Days

IT drone to coworker: They're being invaded by blackberries, papayas and pygmy goats.
Coworker: Wow, that's rough. I've heard that that's a problem.
IT drone: Yeah, the goats especially.

Austin, Texas

Posted on July 14, 2015
Animals, Employees, Meals and Snacks, Tech People, Technology, Texas, Weirdness

Sometimes “Shhhh!” Just Isn't Enough

Obnoxious 20-something IT guy to another: Oh, look, here's another set with cats as the background, aren't they just adorable?
Middle-aged librarian lady, overhearing: Da Vinci drew those cats. (pause) And they'll rip your fucking head off.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: marion the other librarian

Posted on July 13, 2015
Animals, Arts, Employees, Insults, Tech People, Violence, Washington

The Paul Bunyan Myth Has Become Distorted with Time

Cube dweller: The only thing that saved his life was that he fell on this dead donkey.

Dayton, Ohio

Posted on July 13, 2015
Animals, Death, Employees, Ohio, Weirdness

Yahoo Serious Is No Young Einstein

Customer: I would like a cheeseburger combo, no cheese.
Cashier, looking confused, to coworker: Hey, bro… What's a cheeseburger with no cheese?
Coworker: Are you serious, man?

Irvine, California

Overheard by: Jennifer

Posted on July 13, 2015
California, Customers, Employees, Meals and Snacks, Offers and requests, Weirdness

…How Much I’m Enjoying Your Discomfort

Beastly employee: That reminds me of when I was skinny. I was smoking. With my thigh-high boots.
Pretty employee: Mmmm… cool.
Beastly employee: I won’t ever wear them again. I am too fat. I will bring them in for you.
Pretty employee, unhappily: Ummmm… ok.
Passerby employee to pretty employee, sympathetically: The boots went up to her camel toe… I’m sorry.

Hawthorne, New York

Overheard by: I have my own office

Posted on July 12, 2015
Clothes, Compliments, Coworkers, Default, Diet & Weight, Employees, Insults, New York

I Thought You Looked Different…

40-something male colleague: Oh, Sunday was no-pants day! Did you participate?
20-something female intern: Yes, but not intentionally!

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Posted on July 12, 2015
Clothes, Employees, Interns & Temps, Office Politics, Pennsylvania, Questions

Well, quit peeking in their windows!

50-something office lady: And kissing these days is so different… These kids!

Dayton, Ohio

Posted on July 12, 2015
Compare and contrast, Employees, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality

I Was Like, “Bark Now, Bitch!”

Lady in break room: I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamed I had gone out to my backyard, dug up my dog and took off its head and put it on my mantle.

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Rob

Posted on July 10, 2015
Animals, Body Parts, Clothes, Employees, Texas, Weirdness

You Don't Need Gaydar in Idaho

Male manager to female employees: The black currant vanilla separates the men from the boys.

Idaho

Posted on July 9, 2015
Age and ageing, Bosses, Employees, Health & Hygiene, Idaho, Weirdness

Employees

Yahoo Serious Is No Young Einstein

I Thought You Looked Different…