Bus driver, over intercom, on a crowded bus about to let on more passengers: All standees please drop your backpacks to your feet and move to the back of the bus.
(no one moves)
Bus driver: This is the voice of God. Thou shalt drop your bags to your feet and move to the back of the bus.
Davis, California
Overheard by: Natalie T.
Communications chick: I know it's kinda long, but I feel like it should be in there.
Canton, Massachusetts
Manager: How is your monitor? It's not very old, right?
Cubicle chick: It works, yeah.
Manager: I'm going to get everyone flat screens eventually, but I'm going to do it two or three at a time.
Cubicle chick: Awesome!
Manager: But yours looks pretty good for now.
Cubicle chick: I can break it if you want me to.
Manager: I'd rather…. you didn't.
Cubicle chick: Gotcha.
England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Case worker: My husband was laying around like a little faggot last night.
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Spazzy
Ad rep on the phone with client: So, Wendy isn’t my real name, but I changed it to Wendy, because I like Peter Pan so much. Like, even as a kid, I used to jump out of windows.
Gulf of Mexico Drive
Longboat Key, Florida
Employee to boss: Your compliments feel better than most people's compliments…
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: chickago
Facilities guy, as five IT staffers walk past: What is this, it on parade?
IT guy: Yes, we ran out of pink elephants.
Seattle, Washington
Worker: So, what did the phone company says about the phone line?
Boss: I don't know. The robot pick up the phone! I hate talking to a robot, so I hung up.
Greenwich Village
Manhattan, New York
Clueless customer: Hi, I'm looking for this book that I read a review about, I was wondering if you could help me.
Knows-the-drill employee: Okay, what's the title?
Clueless customer: I don't remember.
Knows-the-drill employee: Do you know who wrote it?
Clueless customer: No… I know that the book had a yellow cover, though.
Knows-the-drill employee: Okay, let's see what we can find here in yellow…
Mays Landing, New Jersey
Peon, to no one: When you have deja vu more than once a day, you know you have a fucking boring job.
Omaha, Nebraska
