Food court employee #1: I think I have a lizard tail growin’ out of my butt!
Food court employee #2: Oh, I see it!
Allegheny College
Meadville, Pennsylvania
Food court employee #1: I think I have a lizard tail growin’ out of my butt!
Food court employee #2: Oh, I see it!
Allegheny College
Meadville, Pennsylvania
Young museum volunteer: And I had to listen to the other kids talking about masturbation for an hour.
Museum employee: Yuck. You’re probably the sanest person in your school.
Young museum volunteer: I know! I wish I could just… stab them all in the neck.
Kellogg Avenue
St. Paul, Minnesota
Professor: We need this paper to be huge! I want people to fear us when we go to meetings… We need to be like male elephants!
Grad student #1: You want me to grow tusks?
Grad student #2: You want me to grow big ears?
Professor: No! We need to pee all over everything!
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Sales guy #1: … or you know it could send to your POP3.
Sales guy #2: Don’t pretend like you know what you’re talking about.
Sales guy #1: At least I had a term. Where’s your term, motherfucker?!
Bonner Springs, Kansas
Helpful librarian: Here is an explanation of the changes a boy goes through, and masturbation.
Shocked redfaced teen: No, I said books on emancipation!
Ceres, California
Lab tech #1: So I’ve been going to the hospital in the mornings.
Lab tech #2: Oh, are you ok?
Lab tech #1: Oh no, I’ve been going to watch surgeries. It’s a really great way to start off the day.
Harvard
Boston Massachusetts
Overheard by: Interesting Morning
(two bosses are arguing)
Coworker #1: They are going to kill each other.
Coworker #2: Good, then we don't have to be bothered with them anymore.
School of Dentistry
University of Michigan
Overheard by: I love my job, I love my job, I love my job
Admin on phone: No, I can't write your budget justification for you, you have to do that yourself. (pause) Because I cannot justify what you are doing, that's why!
Fordham University
Adviser: Okay, is everyone here? Great. So, John*, why don't you tell us what you've worked on this week?
John: Well, I did…
Adviser, interrupting: Actually, John, I'm just going to hummer you for a minute while I show them the data.
Female grad student: Um, what?
Adviser: I'm going to hummer him and just show everyone this, you know, like run over him like a big fucking car.
Female grad student: Uh, okay, but you can't say that.
Adviser: What? Why?
Female grad student: I'll tell you after lab meeting.
Adviser, angrily: What is so bad about saying that? Is it like mean or something to “hummer” someone?
Female grad student: Well it's not mean, it's just… Yeah, don't say that. Ever. We'll talk later.
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Lady in queue to group of young people: When I was at school I was referred to as being a bit odd. But I didn't mind being different, I enjoyed science subjects like biology. Learning about orgasms and bacteria. Wait! Did I just say what I think I said?
London
England
Overheard by: Misslead youth
